Quiz

Which one is rigged?

(i) My elimination from the Sunday Full Tilt $750K



or

(ii) The recent Bute vs. Andrade fight

Deja vu

Sunday night and another sea of red as Asian markets plunge, setting the tone for Europe to continue the freefall, leaving the American markets little choice. My disposable income was non-existent even before this crisis, but I imagine that many people will be starting to feel the effects of this global squeeze, meaning less visits to Vegas, Atlantic City and Monte Carlo.

So what does a poker player do? Organize home games of course! It is an economically attractive alternative to casino patronage, and all the requisites for setting yourself up can be found on one website, Nevada Jacks. Poker cards, table covers, poker tables, quality poker chips can all be ordered here at very cheap prices. And the chips are true clay poker chips, with the same quality and materials as used by many Las Vegas casinos. So what are you waiting for? Take advantage of the great customer service and top-class products found at Nevada Jacks and set yourself up for the ultimate home game experience. Your friends will thank you for it.

Man of the Year 2008 - Senator Bill Frist

A little early, I know, but I can't see anyone surpassing the uncanny foresight of Bill Frist, who anticipated the immense global financial threat posed by the unregulated credit default swap market online poker industry, and helped prevent an international meltdown with the introduction of critical pre-emptive legislation.

We owe our collective jobs, homes, retirement benefits and general sense of economic well-being to this great fucktard visionary.

LeTune follows LeCheese

15 minutes to the start of LeTune Challenge I, a freeroll for bloggers courtesy of Joe from RakeBrain. I was fortunate enough to be invited again, thank you Joe and RakeBrain.

(40 minutes later .... )

I was eliminated in 24th place. I have no business playing PLO. What was really frustrating was that Full Tilt does not allow chat if you have no real money balance, which I don't. So if I didn't say hi to you, or didn't respond to your greetings, this is why :

Bob Lassiter (tampa)

If anyone is to blame for this blog, it is Bob Lassiter. It was he who encouraged me to start this little venture. Exactly two years have flown by since his passing and I still miss the bastard.

The new glossary of Wall Street terminology

After a series of calamitous days on Wall Street, I sit here watching the Nikkei and other Asian markets continuing the freefall in order for Wall Street to get an inkling in which direction to trade tomorrow morning. In the meantime, I am brushing up on the latest vernacular:


BULL MARKET - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.


BEAR MARKET - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.


VALUE INVESTING - The art of buying low and selling lower.


P/E RATIO - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.


BROKER - What my broker has made me.


STANDARD & POOR - Your life in a nutshell.


STOCK ANALYST - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.


STOCK SPLIT - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.


FINANCIAL PLANNER - A guy whose phone has been disconnected.


MARKET CORRECTION - The day after you buy stocks.


CASH FLOW - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.


YAHOO - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.


WINDOWS - What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @$240 per share.


INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.


PROFIT - An archaic word no longer in use.

The blame game

In written testimony to a congressional panel submitted today, a former chief executive of AIG blamed its woes on shorts. Yeah, like it's the dealer's fault that I got rivered. That dick Fuld from Lehman also appeared arrogant and unrepentant at yesterday's hearing.

These guys should be taken 30,000 feet up in a plane, and then offered the choice between their golden parachute and a real one.

"Poker Fiction"

Poker Grump, a Las Vegas-based prolific and high-quality blogger, has been obsessively picking apart erroneous ESPN "Poker Fact" segments. So it was somewhat surprising that we were not privy to one of his posts after yesterday's "Poker Fact" declaring that "72 offsuit was the worst starting hand in hold'em".

Absent any other assumptions (and there weren't any), 32 offsuit is the worst hand. I'm thinking hot and cold Sklansky-Chubukov, and not a limit hold'em simulation with betting on all streets.

Google tumbling

Google slashed my page ranking to 0 this weekend. This is the greedy and monopolistic behavior that has typified Google's urge to dominate the market by all means possible. What they fail to realize is that the markets are intertwined and that if you screw the little guy, you inevitably end up screwing yourself as well. Unfortunately, proof of this came no sooner than today when the stock market further slashed Google (and the rest of the intertwined, overvalued crap) to under $400. With the economy shrinking, does this overpriced has-been think that their brutally enforced ad revenues will keep on increasing? Or that people will buy their shitty phones?

I have reached 0, but they still have a ways to come down. Just a few weeks ago, I recommended selling GOOG at $500. If you happen to own this overinflated stock in your retirement fund, I suggest you offload now while you can still get $400 and buy back again under $300. And then hope that they learn from their mistakes.

If they could take it back

Hopefully the financial turmoil will have disappeared from the headlines by November 9, when the November Nine are scheduled to play out the Final Table of the 2008 World Series of Poker. In retrospect, picking a date 5 days after a presidential election was a gamble. Throw in the possibility of future financial and political upheaval, and you have a recipe for potentially very low ratings for ESPN.

Mission aborted

Yesterday I turned up at the airport only to find that there were no tickets for our party of 12. Apparently the secretary of the Las Vegas chapter of Gamblers Without Borders, who had been assigned the task of arranging travel and accommodation, decided instead he would risk our $30,000 in online heads-up play against durrrr. The gamble didn't pay off, but kudos to him for trying.

Volunteerism

I will be flying to Africa tomorrow for 2 weeks as head of a Gamblers Without Borders mission. We will be based primarily in northern Uganda and southern Sudan, where we will be giving free courses in Texas Hold'em, Razz and money management.

Sunday nights on Wall Street

Regulators spent the weekend at the headquarters of the New York Federal Reserve in downtown Manhattan, huddled together with the top echelons of the banking and financial community, frantically trying to come up with solutions to the Lehman, Merrill, AIG, WAMU, .... messes.

I spent the weekend huddled together with some gamblers and drifters. Apart from the 3,000 miles that separated us, I felt we had a lot in common.

Moving in

Moved into my new quarters yesterday, just below the I15 overpass near Decatur. I am told there is a great WiFi spot 50 feet from here. But first things first - I'm more concerned with tonight's dinner at the moment. And why I stubbornly continue to play above my limits.

Moving on

The shelter officially closes tomorrow. I have several living options available, including Howard Lederer's backyard toolshed. The current evacuation of New Orleans as Gustav approaches helps me keep things in perspective.

Michael Phelps - The Beginning

Out of action

Even before Las Vegas poker rooms were going through the typical August doldrums, I was given the green light to multitable $2-$5 NLHE at a major Strip casino. On Wednesday night, while brooding over a bad beat I had taken on Table 7 and my poorly executed $100 bluff called by a jack-high on Table 12, I inadvertently bumped into a cocktail waitress while rushing to Table 15 to post a straddle, causing me to fall into the path of a motorized wheelchair. I escaped with a fractured distal tibia (lower leg) and will be in plaster for 6 weeks.

Abandoned pets

With the increase in foreclosures, people are abandoning their pets as well as their homes. There is absolutely no excuse for this type of behavior and to those guilty of leaving their animals behind, may this be just the beginning of your economic hardships which hopefully will continue on so that you get to see your children go to bed hungry every night.

Tao of Poker

I would be remiss if I didn't throw in a reminder about tomorrow's birthday bash, courtesy of Dr. Pauly and in celebration of his blog's 5th anniversary.

Unfortunately I have no funds online at the moment, but would very much like to play. If someone could transfer me the $5.50, I would be appreciative. Repayment options range from immediate cash if you're in Vegas, to immediate PayPal, to Full Tilt transfer on the 15th, to food stamps.

Please leave a comment or email me (shluha at hotmail dot com).

Bellagio recaps

The change reported in the previous post was short-lived and, as of today, Bellagio's $2-$5 and $5-$10 games have reverted to $500 and $1,500 caps (originally $500 and $1,000).

Bellagio's NL games now uncapped

Effective from 11am today, Bellagio's $2-$5 and $5-$10 NLHE games have no maximum buy-in. Till now they were capped at $500 and $1,000 respectively. The timing of the move is interesting as it coincides with one of the quietest periods of the year. Only time will tell what effect this will have on the ichthyological ecology, but I predict changes in both feeding and migratory patterns.

Stuck

It is an indisputable fact that short playing sessions are generally preferable to longer ones. I have accepted this and found it has paid dividends. Yet once in a while, I find myself inexplicably stuck to a chair because I'm stuck. The frequency of this has decreased over time, but when it does occur it is usually a painful experience.

ESPN WSOP coverage begins

ESPN weekly coverage of the 2008 WSOP events begins tonight, culminating in the live broadcast of the final table of the Main Event on November 9th. Airing tonight is the $10,000 Pot Limit Hold'em event, in which the still braceletless Andy Bloch managed yet another second place finish after holding a commanding chip lead with only 4 players remaining. Karma's a bitch.

Effective advertising

When driving from Melbourne to Sydney on the Hume Highway, as I have done on a couple of occasions in the past, one will pass through the New South Wales country town of Yass.

The Bespoke Search Engine

Yahoo.com has always been my home page, yet when I wanted to do a search, I would navigate to Google. That is till now. Following Google's imposition of harsh and selfish monopolistic advertising guidelines on poker and other sites, and the subsequent doctored alteration in their search results, I have broken a long and instinctive search engine habit and now use Yahoo. I believe that Google's bespoke searching is not returning an optimal result and I have a distinct chance of missing out on something that could be valuable, unless I want to keep paging till Results 151-160. I am therefore better off with Yahoo or MSN.

For an update on the recent developments, read Bill Rini and Nat Arem's posts.

When this episode flared up in October 2007, with Google slashing the page rank of renowned blogger John Chow, GOOG was trading at over $700. Tonight in after hours trading, GOOG is at $492 after disappointing 2nd quarter 2008 earnings. Google, clearly the answer lies elsewhere - please come to your senses.

Venetian Slot Tourney

I was invited to a slot tourney at the Venetian, together with a comped suite for 3 nights. When your current digs are a homeless shelter in foreclosure, this is like winning the Powerball. The walk from St. Luke's shelter to the Strip should take about 25 minutes but there was an Excessive Heat Warning issued on Sunday, so it came as no surprise that I barely staggered into the Palazzo completely dehydrated, and before passing out I managed to run into, knock down and break their mini-David figurine situated 5 feet inside the fountain pool in the marbled lobby entrance, and reputedly valued at $2,500,000.

After filling in a few insurance forms and mumbling my apologies in broken Italian, I was carried to my suite in the adjoining Venetian on a stretcher. I would have preferred the gondola. Still, with the slot tourney scheduled to open in 12 hours time, I was thankful that my right index finger was uninjured.

The next day who should I run into but Grubby, who was also playing in the tourney. Luckily he was seated next to me, enabling him to apply an ice compress to my forehead with his right hand while hitting the slot button with his left. After the last session, we took a stroll to the Mirage where I partook in some $1-$2 NLHE, while he opted for the $70 SNG.

Sitting in the 6 seat at my table was 95-year-old Jack Ury, the oldest player in the 2008 WSOP Main Event. He proudly told us that he was still in after Day One. I had occasion to play one hand with him when his flopped baby flush took down my TPTK for a $50 pot. After I tabled my hand, it took him about 10 seconds to turn over his cards. This, however, was attributable to gerontological rather than slowrolling factors. God bless him.


Grubby took down the SNG and I lost $133. After an enjoyable afternoon, we headed back to the Venetian and parted ways. I didn't place in the tourney but at least Grubby won $100 free slot play.

Tonight I read that Jack Ury was eliminated (Day 2B). "I can't walk, can't see, can't hear, but I can still play poker!" said Ury to PokerNews reporter TassieDevil. "I'll be back again next year...if I'm still alive!"

Sweet dreams are made of this

Commiserations to the bloggers who didn't make it past Day One. And to those that did (Iggy, Loretta8 and any others that I don't know of), please continue to rip through the field.

Maybe next year

Negotiations for the sponsorship of my $10,000 2008 WSOP Main Event entry fee broke down at 3:30am this morning. I am bitterly disappointed considering how close we were to an actual agreement.
I prefer not to get into specifics, but the main stumbling block was my insistence that my kidney was not to be removed before November were I to make the final table.

You call, it's all over ... the front page of Yahoo!, baby

Scotty Nguyen's bracelet in the $50,000 H.O.R.S.E. event makes the front page of Yahoo!

PEACE and good trading, Commisso

It was with great excitement that I followed Shamus's coverage of the epic 6-hour heads-up battle in the WSOP $5,000 NLHE Six-Handed event last night, which lead to the ultimate victory of Joe Commisso.

I "met" Joe many years ago on EliteTrader, an online trading community. He was young and bright back then and it appears nothing has changed.

Congratulations, Joe, on the bracelet and the accompanying $911,855!

Poker Hall of Shame IV

There's always a few rotten apples to spoil a good lineup, and apparently the MGM Grand is no exception. Yesterday, harper983 posted the following on 2+2 :

Playing 1/2 cash game at the MGM. Three players are involved in a pot with about $100 in it, and on the river the board reads 8A8x9 rainbow. UTG checks, mid pos. checks, and the button checks and turns over the 8d and puts it on top of his other card and says "I got the 8". Dealer looks down and repeats what he says, mid pos. mucks, and UTG flips over A9. Dealer grabs buttons cards, buries them in the muck, and pushes pot to UTG. Button tries to stop her, but isn't quick enough. Dealer calls the floor, tells them what happened, that she saw his 8 and others at the table confirm, and they rule that he has to flip over both cards and he's hands dead. UTG rakes the pot and tips dealer $15. Button gets pissed and cashes out.

Just wondering what others would do in this situation as the dealer, floor, and UTG.

BTW UTG is a dealer there and I saw him dealing the next day.

The general consensus seems to be that the dealer should have given the button a chance to show both cards by saying something like "I can't turn over your hand." Unfortunately the whole incident reeks of collusion and flies in the face of the maxim that justice must be seen to be done.

And a big kudos to the UTG douchebag dealer, a great ambassador for the interpretation of the spirit of poker rules in general, and playing at the MGM in particular.

WSOP Main Event

Desperately short of funds, my significant other has decided to sell 50% of herself in the upcoming WSOP Main Event. She can be found nightly at the Rio hooker bar and is very approachable.

Please stop calling!

By all rights, I should have a quiet Father's Day as I have no children. Yet with alarming regularity, this peaceful Sunday is always shattered by phone calls from all over the world.

It started at 6:35am with a "Hyvää Isänpäivää" (Happy Father's Day) from a young Finn claiming to be my long lost 15-year-old son. "Äitisi nai poroja" (your mother fucks reindeers) I mumbled and went back to sleep. At 7:23am I heard some Dutch kid yelling "Vrolijke vaderdag" and promptly dispatched him with a "Je moeder is een hoer" (your mother is a hooker).

This continued all morning with greetings in Thai (สุขสันต์วันพ่อ), Persian (روز پدر مبارک ), Turkish (Babalar günün kutlu olsun), Hungarian (Boldog apák napját), French (Bonne fête Papa) and many others. As is my custom, I "thanked" them all in their respective languages.

What are they trying to tell me? That their whorish mothers lied to me years ago when they promised they were practicing birth control? That I happenstanced upon the 1 packet of condoms that didn't fall within the 99.9999% quality control specifications? That I was the victim of a swallow and switch? I'm not buying any of it.

Nothing new under the sun

We have been blessed with multiple controversies currently raging in the blogger universe. This is not surprising and when they die down and are forgotten, they will be replaced by new ones as sure as your flopped set will be pipped on the river by a backdoor flush.

2008 WSOP - II

"Maybe you too can find a single player to babysit the entire event and report their every move." - AlCantHang

With this in mind, I decided that I would cover the journey of my good Australian friend, Bruce Kelly, in his attempt at taking down the coveted 2008 WSOP Main Event bracelet.

Bruce is about 10 years my junior, the bastard son of an alcoholic sheep farmer and an out-of-work actress. He, like myself, is currently unemployed and shares my passion for poker, though he does rent an apartment of his own. The bugger has a real temper and my sole concern is chaperoning him through the entire tournament and preventing one of his classic blowups. And by blowup, I don't mean à la Hellmuth or Matusow. No, a Bruce Kelly blowup is something that the Rio Convention Center has never been privy to. And that's the way I'd like to keep it.

Last year, Bruce had occasion to communicate via telephone with VicRoads, the government body responsible for licensing and registration of motor vehicles. Unfortunately for all concerned, the call was recorded (warning - offensive language) :




So here we are, 6 days into the Main Event, with 643 players left. We are nearing the bubble and the tables are playing hand for hand. Bruce, sitting on a healthy 2.5 million chip stack, looks down at his cards. I have a mounted telescope set up in the back row of the spectators' gallery and can see by the throbbing carotid artery in his neck that he's picked up a big hand. I also have a dismantled elephant gun, together with tranquilizer darts, within reach.

Bruce, who is UTG, raises to 100,000. Everyone folds to the button, Allen Cunningham, who makes it 400,000. The small blind folds, but the big blind, Jamie Gold, pushes all-in. Jamie has Bruce covered. With everyone's attention diverted to the all-in, I slowly start assembling the elephant gun.

Bruce calls without hesitation and Cunningham folds his jacks. Jamie Gold sheepishly turns over pocket tens and Bruce gleefully tables 2 red aces. The rush of the media to the table gives me enough time to finish assembling the rifle. Better safe than sorry.

The flop comes

T 7 2 rainbow

Gold leaps triumphantly into the air. I load the dart, cock the rifle and locate Bruce's still throbbing carotid artery in the crosshairs of my sight.

The turn is a harmless 8.

I decide that waiting for a 2 outer on the river may be too risky as Bruce would probably be completely out of control, making an accurate shot almost impossible.

As Bruce slumps forward flat on his face, the river card, the black ace of spades, hits the green felt. I rush toward the table, fumbling for the bottle of concentrated Epsom salts in my shoulder bag.

2008 WSOP - I

You fine folks at Full Tilt, sitting in your comfy chairs somewhere in Louth, don't seriously expect me to grovel to your demands to "showcase my ability to provide journalistic coverage for the biggest poker event in the world".

Read this blog and you will readily find glowing examples of Pulitzer quality poker coverage. Ask around, make some phone calls. Everyone will corroborate my natural aptitude for covering major events like the WSOP - with a twist of course.

The best WSOP coverage

For those of you fortunate enough not to be physically present at the 2008 WSOP, read all about it here :

Pokernews.com

Tao of Poker

LasVegasVegas

WSOP fever

Excitement abounds as everyone awaits this Friday's opening of the 2008 WSOP. I snapped the shot below of one of the painting crews at the Rio applying the final finishing touches to the pool:

Random musings

Random.org is a great site to read up on random numbers, with Bo Allen highlighting some differences.

Bitmap generated by a True Random Number Generator (TRNG) via atmospheric noise :



Bitmap generated by a Pseudo-Random Number Generator (PRNG) :

Still waiting

Watching Chris Ferguson take down the National Heads-Up Poker Championship on NBC this afternoon brought back some memories.

A few months after moving to Vegas, I had occasion to email Andy Bloch with an important technical question. He never bothered to reply. I didn't have a blog back then, so I just kept my opinion about Bloch being a rude prick, and undoubtedly the worst FTP ambassador out of the 15 pros, to myself.

Now I have a blog.

The injustice of it all

I finally scrape together a few shekels so that I may grace the virtual felt once again, only to be kicked in the junk by some specious algorithm devised by extremely cruel people who are at this very moment probably rubbing their hands with glee.




My worthy opponent managed to catch his 1 outer on the flop, yet I couldn't reciprocate with a 2 outer on the turn and river. In the grand scheme of coolers this barely makes the scale, yet on a personal, psychological and financial level it has set me back months, if not years. I'll recover, I'm sure of it, but I write this post as a legacy to the pain and anguish I now feel having been brutally robbed of $33 by some evil collection of bits and bytes.

FullTilt.org - a site review

If you're interested in playing on Full Tilt Poker, then you must check out FullTilt.org, a well-designed and comprehensive poker portal. This informative online resource has the latest promotions and bonuses, tournament information and detailed profiles of the 15 Full Tilt pros.

There are podcasts and video casts to help you brush up on your game, and for entertainment you can watch a collection of the great FullTiltPoker.com commercials, some of which have never been aired on television.

If all of this has whetted your appetite for some online action, you may download the software in the Full Tilt Poker Download section of the site, and qualify for a 100% deposit bonus up to $600 by using the Full Tilt Poker Referral Code FT600NOW.

Good luck at the tables!

Update on live multi-tabling

It's no secret that Las Vegas is feeling the pinch of the economic slowdown. Hotels are laying off staff, and poker rooms are not overflowing with players as they were this time last year. In an effort to fill the empty seats, especially during the quieter periods, a major Strip casino has allowed me to multi-table their $2-$5 no limit games. Initially I was limited to 4 tables, but with a larger than expected drop in patronage, this was raised to 6 tables as of last Tuesday.

Management has been extremely pleased with the pilot phase and intends to grant multi-tabling privileges to additional qualified applicants. I have been assigned the task of recruiting suitable candidates, so if you're a Las Vegas local and feel up to the challenge, please leave a comment or drop me an email. Preference will be given to those with rollerblading skills.

Foucault's Poker Academy

Andrew Brokos (Foucault) is a poker player and writer with many fine articles to his credit. Topics range from book reviews to poker strategy. In his latest blog entry, he lists the "Top Ten Tools to Learn No Limit Hold 'Em Tournament Poker". He claims the list is for both live and online, though I think it is a little skewed towards the latter. So while it contains forums, books, training sites, software (tracking, HUD, equity calculators), I think an important omission is training software like Poker Academy Pro. As a live player, I have no use for most of his software categories, but certainly find a tool like Poker Academy Pro indispensable for brushing up on my no limit hold'em tournament play. It's the closest I can come without actually having to part with the requisite buy-in. And for an under-rolled railbird like myself, that means everything.

Still, a good list.

I'm with GCox25, Change100 et al.

Apparently I made the right decision when I limited myself to 4 events only in the BBT3. Tonight in the Riverchasers, I called VBPro7 a turd after a comment he made when he re-sucked out on me in an all-in hand. I don't regret the substance of my comment because he most definitely behaved like a slimy douchebag. What is disappointing, however, is that I was naive enough to think I could still play one of these things with chat turned on. But how else are you supposed to play a blogger event?

Sorry fellas, no fun anymore.

Breakthrough

After extensive negotiations lasting several months, I am pleased to announce that the management of a major Strip poker room has given me permission to multi-table live $2-$5 NLHE, up to a maximum of 4 tables. This should lower my variance and keep me fit at the same time. I am the first player to be granted this privilege and if all goes well, the multi-tabling option will be extended to some of the regulars.

I will keep you posted.

LeCheese II

I finished just 12 places out of the money in RakeBrain's LeCheese Challenge II freeroll, which is a nice way of saying 13th last. Thanks Joe for the invite.

Poker Hall of Shame III

TassieDevil from PokerNews describes a hand in the PokerStars.com EPT Grand Final in Monte Carlo in which Antonio Esfandiari goes through his now-familiar shtick of questioning his opponent to try and get a read, followed by some drawn-out call/fold feigning.

"Do you have a set of threes? Or do you have shit? Do you want me to call sir?" probed Esfandiari, all of which was simply ignored by Rasmussen. "Dealer, is he allowed to not answer me like that?"

After much hesitation and some near-calls, Esfandiari finally folded and Rasmussen flipped pocket fours for a successful bluff.

Following the hand, Rasmussen called the floor person over to lodge a protest against Esfandiari's near-calls/folds, which could be described as gamesmanship to try and get a read from his opponent. Rasmussen complained that Esfandiari's cards crossed the black line painted on the table and they should've been scooped into the muck. However the TD informed Rasmussen that the line actually has no enforceable qualities about it and is simply a visual guide for players and dealers.

After some more heated words from both players, everyone settled down and got on with the next hand.

Antonio pulled a similar stunt on High Stakes Poker in a hand with Barry Greenstein. He pushed a bundle of cash forward and then folded. If he's prepared to pull these angles in high profile play, I can only imagine what he's gotten away with since the beginning of his career. Even more perturbing is the fact that he is an immensely talented player who has no need to resort to such dubious tactics in order to come out on top.

In a completely unrelated story, Antonio Esfandiari is the chip leader at the end of Day 3.

We'll be back after this break

The new WPT season is airing on GSN. Alas, it is impossible to watch, with the actual content to commercial ratio even worse than the fawking Travel Channel. Greedy bastards won't be getting my eyeballs.

Vanity?

Summer's coming so it's time to start dieting. That's me on the left, last year :

Gimme Shelter

Foreclosure papers were served on our shelter this morning. I have 30 days to find a new roof over my head.

Do not adjust your monitor

Earth Hour

Harrington to the Rescue

Barring the unforeseen and unforetold, this weekend I hunker down to read both volumes of Harrington on Cash Games. Hopefully there will be enough snippets of wisdom to be gleaned, so that upon their completion a renewed assault on the medium limit Vegas cash games will result in at least my recouping the bankroll-crippling $64 outlay for the books.

Smee

This Post Intentionally Left Blank

Seat open, 23!

I must apologize for the lull in posting, caused in part by playing too much live poker. My sessions were long and enjoyable, punctuated by the usual encounters with douchebags (Wynn), spiced up with the occasional lascivious ogling at waitresses (Wynn and Venetian), with some soul-crushing suckouts thrown into the mix (Bellagio).

Looking forward to starting my new job tomorrow as a sound effects technician with the Chippendales.

Good call, malaka!

It all started out perfectly. I was feeling fresh and rested as I lowered myself into the 9 seat, just in time for my first hand as the big blind. There was a waiting list for $5-$10 and seats open for $2-$5, so I thought I would play a little $2-$5 till my name was called for $5-$10. I bought in for $500 and looked down to see TT. There were 3 limpers, the small blind (SB) called and I decided to check. The flop came :

J T 9 rainbow

The SB checked, I bet $25, everyone folded to the SB who raised to $75. The SB, an elderly gentleman whom I had never seen before, had me covered. I decided to push rather than just call or reraise, and was instacalled. The thought of facing KQ, or another straight, crossed my mind.

Turn : 6

River : Q

I stared in disbelief as the SB turned over KJ for the rivered straight. He had instacalled a $420 all-in reraise with top pair and a gutshot. Even though I got my money in as the 84% favorite, it was the very first hand FFS, so I did feel some pain. Nevertheless, I was in control of my emotions and restricted myself to a sarcastic "Good call". I did, however, turn toward Dennis, the Greek dealer, and rhetorically ask, "How did that malaka call?"

I immediately left the poker room, muttering to myself. Ten minutes later I was still walking around the Bellagio muttering to myself, the only saving grace being that it was better babbling in front of strangers than steaming at the table.

LeCheese

Thanks to Joe from RakeBrain for inviting me and some other bloggers to participate in the LeCheese Challenge freeroll on Full Tilt. Congrats to BadBlood for taking it down.

Moving up?

I've spent the last few weeks playing NLHE cash games at the Bellagio ($2-$5, $5-$10, $10-$20), Wynn ($2-$5) and Venetian ($2-$5). There is a discernible difference between $2-$5 and $5-$10, as there is between $5-$10 and $10-$20. There are structural differences within $2-$5 as well - Bellagio has a capped $500 buy-in, Venetian is capped at $1,000 while Wynn is uncapped. My current preference is the Venetian $2-$5 where I can buy in for 200BB and enjoy some semblance of deep stack play. The Bellagio $5-$10, with a capped buy-in of $1,000, is quite good as well, though my recently acquired disdain for 100BB-capped games may lead to my migration to the other uncapped $5-$10 games in town.

I played 2 sessions of $10-$20 at the Bellagio and felt a little out of place. I won both times, played some huge pots with the likes of Bellagio Jay, David Levi, Kenny Einiger, Doug Lee and other regulars, but still felt like a stranger.

Tommy Angelo describes one of the challenges of moving up in his Elements of Poker :

"You might not survive forever at the higher level. You might need to employ one of the vital skills for moving up, which is moving down."

As seen on billboards

Yahoo!?

One has to laugh when Yahoo! chooses the video format to exacerbate the very problem they are reporting on.

Schadenfreude

There is no shortage of local douchebags polluting the tables of the Bellagio. When I encounter one, I keep my communication to a minimum and avoid any confrontation. I don't make any special effort to target them in the future. I do, however, enjoy watching them lose very big pots together with their accompanying reactions . This is not a good thing and I'm working on it, although it is not high priority.

Bodog Poker Blogger Tournament Series

Bodog is proud to host the Bodog Poker Blogger Tournament Series open to any Online Poker Blogger. Earn points and work your way up the Tournament Leader Board for a spot in the final tournament and a chance to win a $12,000 World Series of Poker prize package as part of Team Bodog 2008. Register here.

Starting tonight!!

$50 but for sloth?

Bellagio $5-$10 NLHE. I am in the 10 seat and last to act among 5 players in an unraised pot in which there has been no betting, just checking, on the flop, turn and river. The board is 3-T-X-3-X and there is $50 in the middle.

Showdown time. Small blind, in the 1 seat, says "Queen" but still has not turned over his cards. The big blind mucks. Player 3, in the 5 seat, mucks as does Player 4 in the 8 seat. Their mucked cards are still in front of them, face down. The dealer, one of the older females on the staff, does not make an effort to kill the hands. I have king high and table my hand at about the same time the small blind turns over his queen high. At this stage, Player 4 says "I thought you said three" and reaches out and turns over an ace from his mucked hand. The dealer is flummoxed and I call for the floor.

The floor ruling is that the hand is still live as it hasn't hit the muck and the pot is awarded to Player 4. I agree that cards are live until they touch the muck, but believe that dealers should kill hands as soon as there is a motion towards the muck.

In the grand scheme of things, this is a small pot and I don't make a big deal out of it. On to the next hand. Nevertheless, if I am Player 4 I don't muck my hand till I actually see a 3 (Poker 101). I will await feedback from other players and dealers before I formally relegate the dealer to my Poker Hall of Shame.

Vignette from Venetian

The title is deliberately misleading but my fondness for both Middle French and alliteration leaves me no alternative. So kindly replace Venetian with Bellagio if you have reached this far.

I am in the 1 seat and am heads-up in a hand with the 8 seat, who bets $100 on the turn into a $150 pot. After some deliberation, I fold by flicking my cards towards the center of the table but they overshoot and land in front of the 5 seat. For some unexplained reason, the latter took this as an opportunity to openly and unabashedly peek at my cards. Some players half-jokingly berated him but he made nothing of it. I chose to ignore the whole incident.

Is that all there is?

Bellagio 2-5 NLHE, Thursday 8:30pm. The room is crowded as usual as I take my seat on Table 32. After about 3 orbits I lose my stack when my pocket queens are no match for a flopped set of jacks. I remain relatively calm and rebuy. I steadily rebuild my stack when I lose a huge pot on the river to a 2-outer. Again I am pleased with the ensuing lack of pain, self-pity and morbid thoughts. Numbness? Immunization?

Joe, the fastest dealer in town, provides for comic relief as I ready myself to quit for the night. I am down a buy-in but consider it a very good session.

Elements of Poker - Tommy Angelo

"My bankroll is the amount of money I would spend or lose before I got a job. It is calculated by adding my net worth to whatever I can borrow." - Tommy Angelo

I have just finished reading Tommy Angelo's Elements of Poker. I highly recommend this work, even though by doing so I reluctantly give up my advantage of book reciprocality.

This is a book I will re-read, and re-re-read, on a monthly basis. It contains everything I need.

The coldest seat in Vegas

Last week I had the misfortune of playing on Table 36, Seat 6 at the Bellagio. It is located directly under an air conditioning vent and is about 40 degrees cooler than any other spot in the room. After about an hour, I started shivering uncontrollably and had to be air evacuated to UMC suffering from severe exposure and frostbite, the 3 of diamonds still stuck frozen to my right index finger.

2008 - New Year, New Hope

My poker career hinges on Dan Harrington's new cash game books coming out in early 2008. Hopefully he will provide the necessary impetus to turn things around. I will be looking for fresh ideas, new strategies and, more importantly, the princely sum of $29.99 for its purchase.

The gradual decay of my bankroll during 2007 is elegantly captured in the following 3-dimensional curve:

TOC and Toches

Congratulations to Julius_Goat and Fuel55, the winners of Write Your Way To Australia. They join 25 other bloggers to battle it out in the TOC (tonight 22:00 ET) for the $18,000 Aussie Millions prize package. Good luck to all and thanks to Al and Full Tilt.

Things were looking up both literally and figuratively yesterday when my proctologist placed a large order for message pads (see previous post).

Padding the bankroll

I have been extremely busy with my latest venture into the online marketing of low end office stationery. Initially I will concentrate on the message pad niche. Here are 2 samples of my merchandise:

Aussie Millions

Tuesday, November 13, 2007
It's taken me 3 weeks, but I've raised the $11 entry fee for tomorrow night's Mookie. I had to compromise my high moral standards and call in a few favors, but with so much on the line I didn't have a choice.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007
I finish 17th in the Mookie after Mike_Maloney's queens crack my aces, crippling both my stack and my chances of qualifying for the Tournament of Champions. I am crestfallen.


Thursday, November 15, 2007
Not wishing to face the harsh reality of missing out on the Aussie Millions, I try hanging myself, but crash to the ground prematurely when some loose scaffolding gives way. I escape with a bruised wrist and lacerations to the neck and groin.

Friday, November 16, 2007
St. Luke's Shelter presents me with a $750 bill for damage to their infrastructure, which I promptly readdress and send to Mike_Maloney.

As there is no chance of me raising another $11 entry fee, I have to qualify via "Write Your Way to Australia".

Saturday, November 17, 2007
I awake truly inspired having dreamt of a fascinating story that will surely be a winner. I scramble around looking for a pen and some paper, but come up empty handed. By the time I find a writing pad, the dream has evanesced and is but a vague and foggy memory.

Saturday, November 24, 2007
A week passes and I have made little progress. If there ever was a time not to come down with a severe case of writer's block, this was it.

Monday, November 26, 2007
I desperately need some inspiration. The thought of watching a rerun of Crocodile Dundee crosses my mind, but I settle on calling the Australian Consulate in Los Angeles. I inquire about golfing conditions in Melbourne around January. They are not amused.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Today I finally give up on writing my way to Australia. Like any good poker player, however, I have a contingency plan.

Thursday, November 29, 2007
I am first in line when the public library opens its doors. I race over to the librarian and reserve my 30 minutes of internet access. After about 10 minutes of frantic googling, I find 3 ocean cruises leaving the West Coast in December and arriving in Melbourne before January 14th, 2008.

Friday, November 30, 2007
I call the cruise line companies, asking if they have any vacancies for crew members. "What can you do?" they ask. I tell them I can play poker and wash dishes. The first 2 companies hang up on me, but luckily the last one exhibits some interest. I make an appointment for next Tuesday at their LA office.

Monday, December 3, 2007
I trudge along the I15 trying to hitch a ride to LA. After about 20 minutes I am picked up by a Metro police cruiser and escorted out of the city boundaries. They warn me not to return but I still thank them profusely. A passing truckie takes pity on me and it is not long before we are stuck in gridlocked LA traffic. Four hours later I check in at St. Joseph's shelter where I spend the night.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007
I arrive at the cruise line office and impress the interviewer with my technical knowledge. There just remains the formality of a practical exam which I breeze through, washing 100 greasy plates in 7 minutes.

"We have a ship leaving tomorrow, sailing through Fiji and a couple of other islands, arriving in Melbourne on January 11th. Can you start?"

Wednesday, December 5, 2007
I am on board the Mariposa, sharing a small cabin with 15 other galley hands. Gus Hansen, watch out!

Thursday, December 6, 2007
Sea sickness takes its toll on me. On more than one occasion I have to be physically restrained from jumping overboard.

Monday, December 10, 2007
I finally start to settle into ship life. We work a 12-hour shift and then are free. I violate company policy and sneak into the casino. I play $1-$2 NLHE against the wealthy passengers and make $445 in 4 hours.

Sunday, December 16, 2007
We dock in Fiji for a 3 day stay. I finally have some money to my name and rush out to buy a pair of sunglasses and a deck of cards. I spend the afternoon sipping coffee and writing a postcard to Mike_Maloney.

Monday, December 31, 2007
I spend New Year's Eve playing $1-$2. My bankroll is now $1,430. The plan is to satellite into the Main Event and I'll need more than 1 shot. As the clock strikes midnight, I breathe a sigh of relief that we haven't hit an iceberg yet, temperate waters notwithstanding, nor encountered a rogue wave.

January 11, 2008
Port Phillip Bay at last. We dock in Melbourne and my time spent playing poker has paid dividends when I am invited to be a guest of a wealthy Florida couple who are staying at a luxury suite in the Crown Casino.

I take a shower and gaze out at the breathtaking Melbourne skyline - the Yarra River, the office buildings, the lush verdant parks, and the trams making their way down St. Kilda Road. At the behest of my hosts, Marvin and Barbara, we go down to the hotel shopping arcade in an urgent bid to purchase some minimal and acceptable clothing for myself. I end up spending most of my $1,825 bankroll on clothing and shoes, but not before Marvin promises to stake me in the Main Event.

January 12, 2008
We visit the Botanical Gardens. As I reach out to hand feed a passing swan, my $300 Italian shoes slip and I fall into the lake. It's a hot 93 degrees outside so I dry off fairly quickly. Back in the room, I once again admire the view as I await Crown's 1-hour laundry service.

January 13, 2008
The Full Tilt contingent arrives and I bump into Howard Lederer. I apologize. There is excitement in the air, with press and photographers all over the place. I watch the satellite events, content in the knowledge that I have already secured my precious entry.

I have no idea who won the blogger's Tournament of Champions as I was on the Mariposa at the time. Upon inquiring, I am told that it was Mike_Maloney who naturally is part of the Full Tilt entourage.

January 14, 2008
I am nervous as I stand in line to register for the tournament. Marvin is nearby to reassure me and keep a close eye on the $10,000 cash I clutch in my sweaty palms.

I am seated at table 27, seat 5. Eric Seidel is in seat 7. I don't recognize any of the other players. The gentleman in Seat 4 turns to me with extended hand and exclaims "Mike Maloney, pleased to meet you!" Completely surprised, I break wind. After collecting myself, I deem it prudent not to reveal my identity.

A loud "Shuffle up and deal" resounds through the tournament hall as a record 858 entrants await the opening hand. I am dealt 5c5d and limp in early position. All fold to the button who calls, as do the blinds. The flop comes

5s 4s Td

The pot is now $200, the blinds check so I lead out with a $150 bet. Everyone folds except the button, a local lad from Nunawading, who calls. The turn is

5h

Quads!!! I shoot a pained glance at Nunawading and ask if he's made his boat. It's a wasted effort as he can't hear me, with his earphones blasting out a techno digitalized version of Waltzing Matilda. I hollywood around for another minute and then check. He checks. The river is

8s

Hopefully the bastard's hit his flush. I can bet now so I make it $300. He raises it to $1,000. I am about to reraise him when pictures of the first hand of the 2005 WSOP between Sammy Farha and Oliver Hudson flash through my mind. What are the chances that he has 7s6s? I reraise to $3,000 and he goes all-in. I put him on pocket tens and call. He flips over 7s6s. Before the pain can sink in, TV cameras and photographers make a beeline for table 27, accompanied by shouts of "First one out! First one out!" I sit there stunned, numb and motionless, staring at the ugly board as the cameras whirl and flash.


January 27, 2008
I move to Florida, having accepted Marvin's generous offer of employment as a live-in butler, and am no longer homeless.

Mike_Maloney went on to win the Aussie Millions after an epic heads-up battle with Phil Ivey. He paid off St. Luke's and we are good friends.

Still recovering

The 2007 World Poker Blogger Tour (WPBT) Winter Classic saw scores of bloggers invade Las Vegas for a weekend of poker, drinking and contemplation. Apart from wholesale cash game donkfoolery, I played in the Friday night MGM mixed games and of course in the Main Tournament at the Venetian on Saturday which Joaquin took down. I was eliminated somewhere in the middle when my 5's were brutally cracked by Kat's 8's.

It was nice meeting up with the gang and even though I did acquaint myself with many new faces, there were those whom I didn't get the opportunity to meet. Kudos to Falstaff for the organization and thanks to everyone (too many to mention by name) for the great time.

2007 drawing to a close

We put the Xmas tree up yesterday.

Ivy League November

If you've been following this blog, you may have suspected that I ended October with a zero bankroll and a conspicuous absence of backers. On October 30th I was contacted by a Harvard University statistics professor, whose specialty is time series analysis and forecasting. He had been following my monthly progress and apparently had modelled my equity curve using spectral analysis, and was using it as part of an undergraduate course he was teaching. Not wishing to interrupt the "flow of data" and knowing I was broke, he offered to put up $7,200 for November, predicting that it would last me exactly 26 days based on my previous playing patterns and table limits. In fact he calculated 7 different time series which would most likely simulate my bankroll, and was so confident in his forecasting model that he offered to let me keep any money left after 26 days.

The following chart shows his 7 likely outcomes, with my actual results in thick red. Uncanny, eh?

Thanksgiving

We give thanks to iceballgofish and all the other jackasses who, with their generous infusion of both money and mediocrity, keep the online poker economy afloat. We give thanks.

2 cents worth

Realizing that I had still not participated in any of the Battle of the Blogger Tournaments, I spent most of yesterday frantically trying to sell 50% of myself for the near approaching Mookie. I managed to convince 5 derelicts to put up the $11 entry fee and, after finishing in 17th place for an $11.20 payout, am pleased to report that they each made 2 cents profit on the deal. I could have finished much higher but for the following hand, where my aces were cracked on the river by Mike_Maloney's queens.




I lost most of my stack, but at least am consoled by the fact that the villain went on to win the event. I also enjoyed the music and guest commentary on Buddy Dank radio, despite the repeated exhortations for silence by a very agitated librarian.

Bodonkey tonight

Recognition at last

I am both humbled and honored to announce that my Violin Concerto No. 3 in D Flat will be added to the Fountains of Bellagio Music List. Those who have visited Las Vegas are familiar with the stunning nature of this unprecedented aquatic accomplishment.

Unbeknownst to many, I do have other interests apart from poker and community service, the foremost being musical composition. The opening piece of my concerto, a two-handed pizzicato, is shown below:

Clearing up the desk

Dillo thought he'd ruin my weekend by tagging me. I hereby present the rules of the game :

A). Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog...
B). Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself...
C). Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs...
D). Let each person know that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

I have no intention of doing anyone the disservice of tagging them, but will reluctantly disclose 7 random facts about myself:

1) I suffer from randoskaphobia, a morbid fear of revealing random facts about myself.

2) I am left-handed.

3) I can pick my nose with both hands.

4) I have never used scissors, clippers or any other instrument to cut my toenails. I use my fingernails to do the job.

5) I like poppy seed cake.

6) I often repeat myself.

7) I can pick my nose with both hands.

Light at the end of the tunnel?

I was hoping October would be the month I finally emerge from my downward slump. Alas, it was not to be. I am currently poring over the stats to see if I can identify any areas of weakness. I am also looking for new backers.

Aristocrat Gaming - expired domain name?

One of the major players in the gaming industry is Australian based Aristocrat Gaming. I make it a habit to regularly visit their website (as I do the others) to keep abreast of any developments in the gaming world. Tonight, however, it seemed that they had let their domain name expire on 10/20/2007, as I was apparently redirected to Network Solutions' site. Or could it be related to this?

The Importance of Table Selection

Please add loupoul to your donktard watchlist. Joining a table with any of these half-wits already sitting there is table selection at its finest. You will experience the occasional suckout, but when the dust settles be sure to turn up the speakers to catch the last braying sounds of their avatars as they inevitably leave the table penniless.



Full Tilt Poker Game #3864877320: Table Harwood - $0.25/$0.50 - No Limit Hold'em
Seat 1: Frogmom09 ($50)
Seat 2: loupoul ($32)
Seat 3: TheTalisman ($12.25)
Seat 4: samlucky1 ($66.05)
Seat 5: NDirish80 ($54.55)
Seat 6: MrSubliminal ($41.35)
Seat 7: SFBayPokerDcom ($53.90)
Seat 8: Meijeroen ($49.25)
Seat 9: Zuluhed ($24.55)
MrSubliminal posts the small blind of $0.25
SFBayPokerDcom posts the big blind of $0.50
The button is in seat #5
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to MrSubliminal [5d 5h]
Meijeroen folds
Zuluhed folds
Frogmom09 folds
loupoul calls $0.50
TheTalisman folds
samlucky1 folds
NDirish80 folds
MrSubliminal calls $0.25
SFBayPokerDcom checks
*** FLOP *** [Jh Td 8s]
MrSubliminal checks
SFBayPokerDcom checks
loupoul has 15 seconds left to act
loupoul checks
*** TURN *** [Jh Td 8s] [5s]
MrSubliminal checks
SFBayPokerDcom checks
loupoul bets $1.50
MrSubliminal raises to $6
SFBayPokerDcom folds
loupoul calls $4.50
*** RIVER *** [Jh Td 8s 5s] [Qc]
MrSubliminal bets $13.50
loupoul raises to $25.50, and is all in
MrSubliminal calls $12
*** SHOW DOWN ***
loupoul shows [Kh 9h] a straight, King high
MrSubliminal mucks
loupoul wins the pot ($61.50) with a straight, King high
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $64.50 | Rake $3
Board: [Jh Td 8s 5s Qc]

Gin Rummy - where Stuey Ungar started off

The following is a paid review :

"In mid-1960s a Las Vegas-based Gin Rummy tournament was promoted by mailing flyers to players. The post office objected on the grounds that it was illegal to promote a "game of chance" (a lottery) through postal services. This case ended up in court. After listening to the testimony of experts that included statisticians and several prominent players, the US District Court of Las Vegas on February 23, 1965, ruled that Gin Rummy is indeed a game of skill."

(from "How to Win at Gin Rummy", Pramod Shankar, Ph.D., First Carol Publishing Edition, 1997, page 76.)

Gin Rummy is recognized as a game of skill, so much so that even PayPal is an accepted form of payment at RummyRoyal, the top site to play online Rummy games. (For the 8 US states which currently do not approve of skill-based real money tournaments, only practice mode is available. Please check with your legal jurisdiction.)

RummyRoyal brings you the first online Gin, Kalooki (Kaluki) and Traditional Rummy rooms! They offer real money ring games and tournaments as well as free games, assuring you are provided with the ultimate gaming experience.

Not familiar with a particular variation of Rummy? No problem! Comprehensive and well-designed tutorials are available to guide you through the basics of each game. Even I could pick it up.

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Battle of the Blogger Tournaments II

Impresario Al has certainly outdone himself with the latest Blogger Tournament setup, featuring some incredible prizes from Full Tilt. Read more about it here.

Bob Lassiter

Bob Lassiter (September 30, 1945 - October 13, 2006)




A year has passed. I'll never forget you, tampa, my good, close, personal friend.

Shhhh!!

As you all know, I mainly play live poker. This is because I have no internet access at the shelter, and needless to say I don't own a PC or laptop. In fact I have maintained this blog by regularly posting from a public library, no small feat I can assure you. I wish to take this opportunity to thank the kind staff at the Sunrise Library for their support over the last few years.

So if you are a blogger and reading this, chances are high that it's not from a public library. If that's the case, I encourage you to take part in Bodog's Poker Blogger Tournament in which Bodog is adding a total of $600 in bonus money.

Date : October 9, 2007 (and each Tuesday through November 6, 2007)
Time : 8:35pm ET
Tournament Name: Online Poker Blogger Tournament
Entry Password: bodogblogger
Buy-in + fee: $10 + $1

Blogger Freeroll

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!
This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers.
Registration code: 3936578

Profit targets in NL cash games - part I

Conventional wisdom has it that our current winnings should not be a factor when standing up from a poker session, and that we should stay at the table as long as conditions remain favorable and tiredness will not affect our play. After all, isn't poker one long session?

I will show in an upcoming post that, under certain circumstances, it is better to book a profit.

On an unrelated note, I spent a few days camping on Mount Charleston. As you can witness, the recent heavy rains have resulted in some luxuriant growth.

1 out and the armchair theorists

Apparently Change100 made a slight error in one of the many hundreds of hands she reported at the WSOPE under severe constraints of time and pressure. Instead of 14 outs, she wrote 15 outs. This was noted in a thread on 2+2 and Change100 responded :

Excuuuuse me for saying fifteen outs not fourteen in the 30 seconds I had to write up that hand before some other dude across the room went all in.

Vanessa indeed said she was a favorite, and I believe I reported that in quotes, though I might not remember it exactly, seeing as I wrote up hundreds of hands that day.

You guys really need a new hobby. I dare any of you to try my job for one day and see how you fare. Tournament reporting is nowhere near an exact science, but we do the best we can.

Dmadmonks, a very low-limit nobody with no significant posting history other than a few inane one liners, replied with :

not our fault you suck at your job

Now such a stupid remark does not even warrant a response, but I like Change100, so I had to add my 2 cents worth :

That's why she's being paid to jet around the world covering events in Europe and Australasia (and of course the US) while you futz around at online $0.25/$0.50 Pot Limit Omaha.

The flush chaser

Live $1-$2 NLHE. A rainbow T 8 6 flop gives me the nut straight. Not feeling particularly threatened, I check the $10 pot, hoping others will bet for me. It is checked around. Turn is 8c. Seat 3 bets $10, seat 4 calls and I raise it to $50. I only get 1 caller, seat 10. The river is Kc, making a possible runner runner flush. I go all-in and lose my $200 stack to seat 10's Q3c. I put him on 3 8's at best. The flush chaser is a genial 20 something year-old tourist who is the only one at the table wearing shades. He seems pleased with his catch and thankfully no-one comments on his play.

About 20 minutes ensue and, having rebought, I have about $200 in front of me (in the 5 seat). The 3 seat is UTG and raises to $15. I call with 88, seat 7 calls as does flush chaser in seat 10. The flop is

J 4 8 rainbow

UTG makes a continuation bet of $30, I smooth call, seat 7 folds and flush chaser calls. The turn is

Jc

There are now 2 clubs on the board and the pot is about $150. UTG checks, I look at flush chaser somewhat worried, saying "Just in case you have 2 clubs, I'm betting $100", and push a stack of reds over the line. Without batting an eyelid he puts me all-in and I call for my remaining $55. The river is

9c

Flush chaser jumps up from his seat with a loud "Yeah baby", and proudly exposes A3c. Afraid that he may have overreacted, he adds as an afterthought "Shit man, this is the second time. I'm sorry man." If there's one thing I despise it's slowrolling, so I table my 88 face-up immediately after he shows but it takes a few seconds and the rest of the table to bring him down to earth and break the bad news that his flush isn't enough.

Flush chaser remains silent for the rest of the session.

How to screw up your image for life

On rare occasions poker brings out the best in human behavior. More often than not, it brings out the worst. I just witnessed an undignified exhibition of douchebaggery by an ex-dealer named Kyle Morris on ESPN's 2007 WSOP Main Event coverage.

After cracking Daniel Negreanu's aces with K9s, Morris acts like a 10-year-old when he jumps up and loudly asks the crowd for approval and applause. An ex-dealer should know better. In a subsequent hand, Morris rivers a flush against Negreanu's straight and by his actions and table talk, probably starts believing that he actually is a match for Daniel.

Earlier, Negreanu makes a reference to Rocky 3 as a source of inspiration, so when he is finally eliminated and leaves the table, Morris cannot hold back and lets go with "Sorry Mr. Balboa, try again next year."

One can only be left with the impression that Kyle Morris, who finished 540th for a $25k prize, is a little pipsqueak with a big chip on his shoulder.

Poker Tables at Cardroom Supply

The following is a paid review :

At the shelter we play poker on a cardboard box. I dream of the day when I'll be able to entertain my few friends on a real poker table using real chips. Judging by what Cardroom Supply has to offer, this day may not be that far off. They are one of the largest poker product dealers around, having been founded in 2003 by Lee Weber, and offer a wide range of poker accessories including Kestell and Weber poker tables, gaming chairs, Kem and Copag cards, and a variety of poker chip sets.

Cardroom Supply offers a wide selection of tables in different wood grains and colors which will match both any decor and budget, from the standard folding table to the higher end expandable tables made out of solid wood such as birch or mahogany.

They are offering free shipping on all purchases over $100, and if you purchase any table over $250 before the end of September, you will receive a 500pc 11.5 gram suited poker chip set free of charge.

If you're in the market for anything related to poker accessories, do yourself and ultimately your poker playing friends a huge favor, and check out Cardroom Supply for all your poker product needs.