Sunday, November 22, 2009

Cracked aces, Spooner and Cinderella

I get dealt back to back aces by Tony and they're both crucking facked. 2 hours later I'm at home, still muttering to myself. Tucking Fony! Fortunately I have the presence of mind to do what I always do when I need to calm down - read Ronnie Barker's version of Cinderella :

This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.

Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot. At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards.

One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.

Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and digbicks. The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.

At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.

The very next day, the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart.

"Who's fust jarted?" asked the prandsome hince.
"Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge.

When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk. Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on. He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.

Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny!

Friday, November 20, 2009

5 most tilting pros?

2+2 has a thread about the 5 poker pros that tilt you the most. I found the following posts humorous even though they do not necessarily reflect my own views.

Annie Duke - loves her own voice, doesnt let others have their say, is a complete tool imo. She's also a UB c*cksucker. Pokerlistings says shes "articulate and attractive" wrong on both accounts.

Phil Laak - can't stand the bloke, I wouldnt p*ss on him if he was on fire. Talks so much crap loves the camera's too much. Once in a documentary he got on his high horse because this guy said the word f*ck. Get a grip.

David Williams - absolute turd, toothpick, remember him in a barryg video on pokerroad saying he was from the ghetto, obvs trying to making him sound cool.

Humberto Brenes - Should be run over by a bus then fed to sharks, this must be filmed on camera and shown before every main event.

Phil Hellmuth - has the attitude of an 8 year old with special needs. Also he somehow always manages to get the rules bent for him when he goes off one on. Would probably sell his own mum if he got paid enough.

Posted by FastFuse

durrr ... on hsp when he rocks back and forth slightly.. faaaarkk

laak... id love to break this kunts nose

esfandiari... makes me sick to the point i once chucked my laptop on the floor ( coupled with laak FMD!! with their pushups and c...sucking antics; weeeee, zipping up head )

harrington... looks like a senile old fk, i nearly came when my mate pretty much stacked him in wsopme with qq on an ak board

jean robert.... insta start a fight if i ever see him

scotty... thinks hes a ***** triad

raymer,,, fat knt

pretty much every poker player tilts the fkk out of me, with their ***** staredowns and WOWS and nice hands and sirs and tapping of the ***** table and one times and so sicks fffffaaaaaarrkkkk

honerable mentions online.. ***** checkboxes[], this, owned,pawned,nh,ty,vnh

get fked

tod brunson.. the way he puts chips in the middle

hevad khan.. the way he puts chips in the middle

doyle.. old knt won back 2 back sng thinks hes a ***** god

helmuth.. if i ever play with him and he has a go ill show him what having a go really is fkng ***

kathy liebert.. ugly mutt

Posted by ziigysmum

Saturday, November 07, 2009

November Nine

Play has started.