Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Job search update

The past week was devoted to some serious job hunting. I participated in no less than 14 interviews, justifying my rental of a cheap suit. Out of the 14, 3 expressed minimal interest, 9 showed complete disinterest, while 2 tore up my handwritten resume even before I had left the room.

I would get my resume prepared and typed by a professional, but there is a limit to what can be crafted with my checkered work history. And next time I'll rent a decent pair of shoes as well, rather than relying on the suit pants to cover up my worn out sandals.

Sunday, November 02, 2014

Take me back

I have no recollection of what happened these past 10 weeks, only what I see posted in my blog, allegedly by me. The aliens must have wiped my mind clean just before depositing me back.

Once again, I'm pounding the pavement looking for work. The bastards at Panda Express did not believe my story and fired me promptly upon my return. Real pity, because my promotion prospects there were looking extremely promising.

Meanwhile last night, in an act of desperation, I returned to the very same spot where I was abducted, hoping I might get snatched away again.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Galactic game design

Since they have trouble playing any form of poker, except for open-face Chinese, I was commissioned to come up with variations of hold'em which they may find more entertaining. I proposed the following 3 :

1) "1-card" hold'em, in which each alien looks at 1 hole card only, with the option of looking at the second at any later stage during the hand.

2) "Surrogate" hold'em - the aliens cannot read our human minds, so each will appoint a human to look at the cards and play for them.

3) "1-card surrogate" hold'em, also made up of alien-human pairs, where the alien looks at 1 card only, the human at the second card, and then they are free to do whatever they like.

Can you guess which one is the most popular?

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Still here

They are the only inhabitants of their planet. No other life form exists. They survive by breathing an atmospheric gaseous concoction not dissimilar to our own, and thankfully my respiratory apparatus is functional.

They do not communicate by speech, but rather by some form of telepathic interchange. There is full transparency, and no secrets can be withheld from each other.

This presents a problem when they wish to engage in recreational activities such as poker. Which brings me to the reason why I'm here...

Monday, September 08, 2014

Out of This World

I have no idea why and how they singled out my blog from all the millions in the blogosphere. By "they", I am referring to the aliens from the Messier 109 galaxy, who beamed me up into their waiting spaceship on the night of August 26th, while on my way home from another losing 1/3 session at the Aria.

They were very courteous, apologized profusely for the abrupt interruption in my life, assuring me that it was a matter of critical importance to the survival of their civilization. Their leader is called 助ជួយляйלعدة, which to earthlings would sound something like gohfzhmmb.

What am I doing here? When will I return? More in an upcoming post. And yes, they do have the technology to post to Blogger from 85 million light-years away, but if I told you how, they would cut off my 계란గుడ్లు.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Another milestone

There is a Las Vegas-based company, Love Cloud, that caters to those that want to join the Mile High Club (MHC). For $799, one can fly above Sin City in a specially outfitted Cessna 421 for 40 minutes.

Joining this exclusive club has always been a dream of mine. It took me 7 months of hard work to raise the required $799, and I am pleased to report that, as of this afternoon, I finally am a member of the MHC. I couldn't convince anyone to join me and took the flight by myself, but technically I still qualify.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Skill and luck

If you have a spare 50 minutes, please take the time to watch the keynote speech of Michael Mauboussin, Head of Global Financial Strategies at Credit Suisse, presented at the 17th Asian Investment Conference on the topic "The Success Equation - Untangling Skill and Luck".