Saturday, April 22, 2017

Building an image

Sometimes I'll put myself on the Bellagio $10/$20 No Limit list, even though I haven't got enough in my pocket to buy a cup of coffee. There is usually only 1 game going and  I do this when the list is pretty long, but not long enough to warrant opening a new game.

I'll then disappear for about half an hour, wandering aimlessly in the pit, and upon returning to the podium, which is situated within earshot of the 10/20 table, will start lamenting loudly how I just lost $3,000 at blackjack and that I'm too tilted to sit down with my remaining  $2,000, and could they please take me off the list.

I'll then walk over to the table and, after getting  sympathetic nods from the seated players, wish everyone good luck and leave.

Saturday, April 01, 2017

Selling 2017 WSOP action II

Some of you have asked why I am selling such a high percentage of myself, and why the insanely high markup?

These are legitimate questions and deserve an honest reply.

If, for example, I were to only play the $10,000 Main Event, owing to the 65% markup, I would be selling 97% of myself for $16,005, rather than $9,700. Now it's common knowledge that I don't have $30 to my name, let alone the $300 necessary for my 3%, so the high markup not only allows me to buy in to the tournament, but to also pocket a tidy risk-free profit regardless of the outcome of the event.

The more observant among you will immediately ask what incentive would I then have to play well? Or to even show up? The answer is that even a tramp such as myself dreams of making the Main Event final table.

Late Edit : I have just been contacted by a wealthy Nigerian investor who has agreed to stake me in as many events as I like, under the aforementioned terms. I therefore am no longer accepting any more offers and thank you all for the interest.

Selling 2017 WSOP action

In the next few days I'll be putting together a list of all the WSOP events that I intend playing this year. I will be selling 97% of my action with a markup of 65%. This package should sell out fairly quickly, so don't say I didn't warn you.

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Happy Birthday

Today's my birthday and the boys at the shelter surprised me when I was presented with a fat envelope during our lunchtime meal. I was visibly moved and, after thanking everyone in an emotional speech, opened the contents and counted out $47 in $1 bills.

The gift is a welcome boost to my bankroll, which now stands at $47.63. My plan now is to vigorously grind the $2/$4 limit game at the Flamingo till I build it up to $120, at which time I'll have 3 min-buyins for Luxor's $1/$2 no-limit.

This is ultra-aggressive money management with an obscenely high risk of ruin. But hey, it's only 365 days till my next birthday.

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Back in action

I have replaced the accordion I lost during the Vegas floods last August, thanks to a loan obtained through Kiva. Kiva is a non-profit organization that allows people to lend money via the Internet to low-income entrepreneurs and students in over 80 countries. Kiva's mission is “to connect people through lending to alleviate poverty".

With my superior busking skills, I figure it'll take 3 days to raise a $100 buy-in, and 3 minutes to lose it when my bottom set gets cracked by some imbecile's runner-runner straight. Poverty, therefore, will be alleviated, though not my own.