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Seat open, 23!

I must apologize for the lull in posting, caused in part by playing too much live poker. My sessions were long and enjoyable, punctuated by the usual encounters with douchebags (Wynn), spiced up with the occasional lascivious ogling at waitresses (Wynn and Venetian), with some soul-crushing suckouts thrown into the mix (Bellagio).

Looking forward to starting my new job tomorrow as a sound effects technician with the Chippendales.

Good call, malaka!

It all started out perfectly. I was feeling fresh and rested as I lowered myself into the 9 seat, just in time for my first hand as the big blind. There was a waiting list for $5-$10 and seats open for $2-$5, so I thought I would play a little $2-$5 till my name was called for $5-$10. I bought in for $500 and looked down to see TT. There were 3 limpers, the small blind (SB) called and I decided to check. The flop came :

J T 9 rainbow

The SB checked, I bet $25, everyone folded to the SB who raised to $75. The SB, an elderly gentleman whom I had never seen before, had me covered. I decided to push rather than just call or reraise, and was instacalled. The thought of facing KQ, or another straight, crossed my mind.

Turn : 6

River : Q

I stared in disbelief as the SB turned over KJ for the rivered straight. He had instacalled a $420 all-in reraise with top pair and a gutshot. Even though I got my money in as the 84% favorite, it was the very first hand FFS, so I did feel some pain. Nevertheless, I was in control of my emotions and restricted myself to a sarcastic "Good call". I did, however, turn toward Dennis, the Greek dealer, and rhetorically ask, "How did that malaka call?"

I immediately left the poker room, muttering to myself. Ten minutes later I was still walking around the Bellagio muttering to myself, the only saving grace being that it was better babbling in front of strangers than steaming at the table.

LeCheese

Thanks to Joe from RakeBrain for inviting me and some other bloggers to participate in the LeCheese Challenge freeroll on Full Tilt. Congrats to BadBlood for taking it down.

Moving up?

I've spent the last few weeks playing NLHE cash games at the Bellagio ($2-$5, $5-$10, $10-$20), Wynn ($2-$5) and Venetian ($2-$5). There is a discernible difference between $2-$5 and $5-$10, as there is between $5-$10 and $10-$20. There are structural differences within $2-$5 as well - Bellagio has a capped $500 buy-in, Venetian is capped at $1,000 while Wynn is uncapped. My current preference is the Venetian $2-$5 where I can buy in for 200BB and enjoy some semblance of deep stack play. The Bellagio $5-$10, with a capped buy-in of $1,000, is quite good as well, though my recently acquired disdain for 100BB-capped games may lead to my migration to the other uncapped $5-$10 games in town.

I played 2 sessions of $10-$20 at the Bellagio and felt a little out of place. I won both times, played some huge pots with the likes of Bellagio Jay, David Levi, Kenny Einiger, Doug Lee and other regulars, but still felt like a stranger.

Tommy Angelo describes one of the challenges of moving up in his Elements of Poker :

"You might not survive forever at the higher level. You might need to employ one of the vital skills for moving up, which is moving down."

As seen on billboards

Yahoo!?

One has to laugh when Yahoo! chooses the video format to exacerbate the very problem they are reporting on.

Schadenfreude

There is no shortage of local douchebags polluting the tables of the Bellagio. When I encounter one, I keep my communication to a minimum and avoid any confrontation. I don't make any special effort to target them in the future. I do, however, enjoy watching them lose very big pots together with their accompanying reactions . This is not a good thing and I'm working on it, although it is not high priority.

Bodog Poker Blogger Tournament Series

Bodog is proud to host the Bodog Poker Blogger Tournament Series open to any Online Poker Blogger. Earn points and work your way up the Tournament Leader Board for a spot in the final tournament and a chance to win a $12,000 World Series of Poker prize package as part of Team Bodog 2008. Register here.

Starting tonight!!

$50 but for sloth?

Bellagio $5-$10 NLHE. I am in the 10 seat and last to act among 5 players in an unraised pot in which there has been no betting, just checking, on the flop, turn and river. The board is 3-T-X-3-X and there is $50 in the middle.

Showdown time. Small blind, in the 1 seat, says "Queen" but still has not turned over his cards. The big blind mucks. Player 3, in the 5 seat, mucks as does Player 4 in the 8 seat. Their mucked cards are still in front of them, face down. The dealer, one of the older females on the staff, does not make an effort to kill the hands. I have king high and table my hand at about the same time the small blind turns over his queen high. At this stage, Player 4 says "I thought you said three" and reaches out and turns over an ace from his mucked hand. The dealer is flummoxed and I call for the floor.

The floor ruling is that the hand is still live as it hasn't hit the muck and the pot is awarded to Player 4. I agree that cards are live until they touch the muck, but believe that dealers should kill hands as soon as there is a motion towards the muck.

In the grand scheme of things, this is a small pot and I don't make a big deal out of it. On to the next hand. Nevertheless, if I am Player 4 I don't muck my hand till I actually see a 3 (Poker 101). I will await feedback from other players and dealers before I formally relegate the dealer to my Poker Hall of Shame.

Vignette from Venetian

The title is deliberately misleading but my fondness for both Middle French and alliteration leaves me no alternative. So kindly replace Venetian with Bellagio if you have reached this far.

I am in the 1 seat and am heads-up in a hand with the 8 seat, who bets $100 on the turn into a $150 pot. After some deliberation, I fold by flicking my cards towards the center of the table but they overshoot and land in front of the 5 seat. For some unexplained reason, the latter took this as an opportunity to openly and unabashedly peek at my cards. Some players half-jokingly berated him but he made nothing of it. I chose to ignore the whole incident.

Is that all there is?

Bellagio 2-5 NLHE, Thursday 8:30pm. The room is crowded as usual as I take my seat on Table 32. After about 3 orbits I lose my stack when my pocket queens are no match for a flopped set of jacks. I remain relatively calm and rebuy. I steadily rebuild my stack when I lose a huge pot on the river to a 2-outer. Again I am pleased with the ensuing lack of pain, self-pity and morbid thoughts. Numbness? Immunization?

Joe, the fastest dealer in town, provides for comic relief as I ready myself to quit for the night. I am down a buy-in but consider it a very good session.

Elements of Poker - Tommy Angelo

"My bankroll is the amount of money I would spend or lose before I got a job. It is calculated by adding my net worth to whatever I can borrow." - Tommy Angelo

I have just finished reading Tommy Angelo's Elements of Poker. I highly recommend this work, even though by doing so I reluctantly give up my advantage of book reciprocality.

This is a book I will re-read, and re-re-read, on a monthly basis. It contains everything I need.

The coldest seat in Vegas

Last week I had the misfortune of playing on Table 36, Seat 6 at the Bellagio. It is located directly under an air conditioning vent and is about 40 degrees cooler than any other spot in the room. After about an hour, I started shivering uncontrollably and had to be air evacuated to UMC suffering from severe exposure and frostbite, the 3 of diamonds still stuck frozen to my right index finger.

2008 - New Year, New Hope

My poker career hinges on Dan Harrington's new cash game books coming out in early 2008. Hopefully he will provide the necessary impetus to turn things around. I will be looking for fresh ideas, new strategies and, more importantly, the princely sum of $29.99 for its purchase.

The gradual decay of my bankroll during 2007 is elegantly captured in the following 3-dimensional curve:

TOC and Toches

Congratulations to Julius_Goat and Fuel55, the winners of Write Your Way To Australia. They join 25 other bloggers to battle it out in the TOC (tonight 22:00 ET) for the $18,000 Aussie Millions prize package. Good luck to all and thanks to Al and Full Tilt.

Things were looking up both literally and figuratively yesterday when my proctologist placed a large order for message pads (see previous post).

Padding the bankroll

I have been extremely busy with my latest venture into the online marketing of low end office stationery. Initially I will concentrate on the message pad niche. Here are 2 samples of my merchandise:

Aussie Millions

Tuesday, November 13, 2007
It's taken me 3 weeks, but I've raised the $11 entry fee for tomorrow night's Mookie. I had to compromise my high moral standards and call in a few favors, but with so much on the line I didn't have a choice.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007
I finish 17th in the Mookie after Mike_Maloney's queens crack my aces, crippling both my stack and my chances of qualifying for the Tournament of Champions. I am crestfallen.


Thursday, November 15, 2007
Not wishing to face the harsh reality of missing out on the Aussie Millions, I try hanging myself, but crash to the ground prematurely when some loose scaffolding gives way. I escape with a bruised wrist and lacerations to the neck and groin.

Friday, November 16, 2007
St. Luke's Shelter presents me with a $750 bill for damage to their infrastructure, which I promptly readdress and send to Mike_Maloney.

As there is no chance of me raising another $11 entry fee, I have to qualify via "Write Your Way to Australia".

Saturday, November 17, 2007
I awake truly inspired having dreamt of a fascinating story that will surely be a winner. I scramble around looking for a pen and some paper, but come up empty handed. By the time I find a writing pad, the dream has evanesced and is but a vague and foggy memory.

Saturday, November 24, 2007
A week passes and I have made little progress. If there ever was a time not to come down with a severe case of writer's block, this was it.

Monday, November 26, 2007
I desperately need some inspiration. The thought of watching a rerun of Crocodile Dundee crosses my mind, but I settle on calling the Australian Consulate in Los Angeles. I inquire about golfing conditions in Melbourne around January. They are not amused.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Today I finally give up on writing my way to Australia. Like any good poker player, however, I have a contingency plan.

Thursday, November 29, 2007
I am first in line when the public library opens its doors. I race over to the librarian and reserve my 30 minutes of internet access. After about 10 minutes of frantic googling, I find 3 ocean cruises leaving the West Coast in December and arriving in Melbourne before January 14th, 2008.

Friday, November 30, 2007
I call the cruise line companies, asking if they have any vacancies for crew members. "What can you do?" they ask. I tell them I can play poker and wash dishes. The first 2 companies hang up on me, but luckily the last one exhibits some interest. I make an appointment for next Tuesday at their LA office.

Monday, December 3, 2007
I trudge along the I15 trying to hitch a ride to LA. After about 20 minutes I am picked up by a Metro police cruiser and escorted out of the city boundaries. They warn me not to return but I still thank them profusely. A passing truckie takes pity on me and it is not long before we are stuck in gridlocked LA traffic. Four hours later I check in at St. Joseph's shelter where I spend the night.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007
I arrive at the cruise line office and impress the interviewer with my technical knowledge. There just remains the formality of a practical exam which I breeze through, washing 100 greasy plates in 7 minutes.

"We have a ship leaving tomorrow, sailing through Fiji and a couple of other islands, arriving in Melbourne on January 11th. Can you start?"

Wednesday, December 5, 2007
I am on board the Mariposa, sharing a small cabin with 15 other galley hands. Gus Hansen, watch out!

Thursday, December 6, 2007
Sea sickness takes its toll on me. On more than one occasion I have to be physically restrained from jumping overboard.

Monday, December 10, 2007
I finally start to settle into ship life. We work a 12-hour shift and then are free. I violate company policy and sneak into the casino. I play $1-$2 NLHE against the wealthy passengers and make $445 in 4 hours.

Sunday, December 16, 2007
We dock in Fiji for a 3 day stay. I finally have some money to my name and rush out to buy a pair of sunglasses and a deck of cards. I spend the afternoon sipping coffee and writing a postcard to Mike_Maloney.

Monday, December 31, 2007
I spend New Year's Eve playing $1-$2. My bankroll is now $1,430. The plan is to satellite into the Main Event and I'll need more than 1 shot. As the clock strikes midnight, I breathe a sigh of relief that we haven't hit an iceberg yet, temperate waters notwithstanding, nor encountered a rogue wave.

January 11, 2008
Port Phillip Bay at last. We dock in Melbourne and my time spent playing poker has paid dividends when I am invited to be a guest of a wealthy Florida couple who are staying at a luxury suite in the Crown Casino.

I take a shower and gaze out at the breathtaking Melbourne skyline - the Yarra River, the office buildings, the lush verdant parks, and the trams making their way down St. Kilda Road. At the behest of my hosts, Marvin and Barbara, we go down to the hotel shopping arcade in an urgent bid to purchase some minimal and acceptable clothing for myself. I end up spending most of my $1,825 bankroll on clothing and shoes, but not before Marvin promises to stake me in the Main Event.

January 12, 2008
We visit the Botanical Gardens. As I reach out to hand feed a passing swan, my $300 Italian shoes slip and I fall into the lake. It's a hot 93 degrees outside so I dry off fairly quickly. Back in the room, I once again admire the view as I await Crown's 1-hour laundry service.

January 13, 2008
The Full Tilt contingent arrives and I bump into Howard Lederer. I apologize. There is excitement in the air, with press and photographers all over the place. I watch the satellite events, content in the knowledge that I have already secured my precious entry.

I have no idea who won the blogger's Tournament of Champions as I was on the Mariposa at the time. Upon inquiring, I am told that it was Mike_Maloney who naturally is part of the Full Tilt entourage.

January 14, 2008
I am nervous as I stand in line to register for the tournament. Marvin is nearby to reassure me and keep a close eye on the $10,000 cash I clutch in my sweaty palms.

I am seated at table 27, seat 5. Eric Seidel is in seat 7. I don't recognize any of the other players. The gentleman in Seat 4 turns to me with extended hand and exclaims "Mike Maloney, pleased to meet you!" Completely surprised, I break wind. After collecting myself, I deem it prudent not to reveal my identity.

A loud "Shuffle up and deal" resounds through the tournament hall as a record 858 entrants await the opening hand. I am dealt 5c5d and limp in early position. All fold to the button who calls, as do the blinds. The flop comes

5s 4s Td

The pot is now $200, the blinds check so I lead out with a $150 bet. Everyone folds except the button, a local lad from Nunawading, who calls. The turn is

5h

Quads!!! I shoot a pained glance at Nunawading and ask if he's made his boat. It's a wasted effort as he can't hear me, with his earphones blasting out a techno digitalized version of Waltzing Matilda. I hollywood around for another minute and then check. He checks. The river is

8s

Hopefully the bastard's hit his flush. I can bet now so I make it $300. He raises it to $1,000. I am about to reraise him when pictures of the first hand of the 2005 WSOP between Sammy Farha and Oliver Hudson flash through my mind. What are the chances that he has 7s6s? I reraise to $3,000 and he goes all-in. I put him on pocket tens and call. He flips over 7s6s. Before the pain can sink in, TV cameras and photographers make a beeline for table 27, accompanied by shouts of "First one out! First one out!" I sit there stunned, numb and motionless, staring at the ugly board as the cameras whirl and flash.


January 27, 2008
I move to Florida, having accepted Marvin's generous offer of employment as a live-in butler, and am no longer homeless.

Mike_Maloney went on to win the Aussie Millions after an epic heads-up battle with Phil Ivey. He paid off St. Luke's and we are good friends.

Still recovering

The 2007 World Poker Blogger Tour (WPBT) Winter Classic saw scores of bloggers invade Las Vegas for a weekend of poker, drinking and contemplation. Apart from wholesale cash game donkfoolery, I played in the Friday night MGM mixed games and of course in the Main Tournament at the Venetian on Saturday which Joaquin took down. I was eliminated somewhere in the middle when my 5's were brutally cracked by Kat's 8's.

It was nice meeting up with the gang and even though I did acquaint myself with many new faces, there were those whom I didn't get the opportunity to meet. Kudos to Falstaff for the organization and thanks to everyone (too many to mention by name) for the great time.

2007 drawing to a close

We put the Xmas tree up yesterday.