Monday, April 11, 2005

Yet Another Limerick

As she looks down to see pocket aces,
Her smile reveals ill-fitting braces,
So it comes as no shock,
When she calls for a clock
On the slow-playing dentist she faces.


the big cheese said...

There once was a man called Subliminal.
Who’s poetry skills were at best minimal.
To amuse himself, he would pound out a verse,
Though hard as I try, I know of none worse.
His efforts really should be criminal…

Mr Subliminal said...

Your effort, while admirable, does not conform to the rhythm of a limerick.

Mr Subliminal said...

This is a limerick :

There once was a man called Subliminal,
Whose poetry skills were at best minimal,
He would pound out a verse,
And I know of none worse,
His efforts should really be criminal.

Note how it was necessary to transpose "should" with "really" in the last line to maintain the beat.

the big cheese said...'s the only frickin' one of these thinga you've written that made sense, you moron!

Mourn said...

Phil Hellmuth held top-two, the luck!
His opponent's 3s should have been in the muck.
But the river brought trips,
Eliciting this from Phil's lips:
"You only had two outs you fuck!"

Mourn said...

And not to be nitpicky...but:

The second line of the re-written cheese limerick reads even better as:

"Whose poetry skills were sub-minimal"

The meter is better and it makes a bit of a cool tongue twister with "Subliminal".

Mr Subliminal said...

Nice limerick, Mourn. Not to be nitpicky, but the second line could be improved upon ;-)

Mourn said...

Yeah, the meter isn't great.

People with glass limericks....