Tequila

They say you should never drink while playing poker. After last night, I say you should never drink, period.

Capitalism at its finest

Las Vegas is being hit hard by layoffs. In the case of Wynn, management makes every effort to prevent laying off workers by reducing work hours and other belt tightening measures. MGM Mirage management, on the other hand, does not consider making any personal sacrifices and has decided that all the others underneath them shouldn't either, so they have no compunction in letting hundreds of workers go. Different philosophies which are reflected in MGM's declining employee morale, local patronage and share price.

Happy Square Root Day

Today (03/03/09) is Square Root Day. The next one will be in 7 years (04/04/16).

On a completely unrelated note, I have been charged with impersonating a poker player in the generic sense, and am raising funds for a prolonged legal battle.

Dog for sale

A friend has asked me to help sell her pet, an excellent guard dog. She can't afford to feed him anymore, as there are no more drug pushers, thieves, murderers, or molesters left in the neighborhood for him to eat.

Most of them knew him as 'Holy Shit'.

Still struggling

Sorry for the break in posting, but not much happening here. I made some money last week volunteering for a medical outfit testing a new drug for insomnia. I don't have insomnia but needed the money. Fell asleep like a baby so everyone was happy. I spend most weekends sign twirling for a brothel in Pahrump. Unfortunately these revenue streams are only sufficient to ward off hunger and I'm still unable to scrape together a minimum buy-in for a decent $1-$2 game.

Trivia

Q: What is the capital of Iceland?

A: $25.

Stimulus package

New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo may demand the return of $4 billion in bonuses paid by Merrill Lynch & Co just before it was acquired by Bank of America.

Here is a leading Harvard economist expounding on current events :

Joe > Shingles

Very little poker lately as I fight off a peanut butter induced case of what appears to be, and certainly smells like, salmonella poisoning. At this very moment, teams from the CDC are scraping stool swabs off the sides of my cardboard box, while I lie here writhing in spasmodic pain. Probably worse than the shingles outbreak I had a couple of years ago, but not as bad as the 1-outer that cunt Joe rivered me with last August.

A fresh start

Hopefully 2009 will bring our aspirations to fruition.

Records are meant to be broken

According to Reuters, a player with English minor league club Chippenham Town has set a record for the fastest red card in senior soccer when he was sent off for a wild tackle three seconds after kickoff, British media reported on Monday.

Striker David Pratt, 21, was dismissed in a Southern Premier League game against Bashley on Saturday.

The previous fastest sending-off is generally accepted to be 10 seconds for Bologna’s Giuseppe Lorenzo after he struck an opponent in a 1990 Italian league game.

English soccer’s previous “best” was 13 seconds when Sheffield Wednesday goalkeeper Kevin Pressman handled outside his box in a game in 2000.

Also in 2000 an English amateur player, Lee Todd, was sent off after two seconds when he responded to the referee’s whistle to start the game by saying “fuck me, that was loud” and was dismissed for foul and abusive language.

Global warming?

It started snowing heavily in Las Vegas today. I had no idea until the top of my cardboard box collapsed under the weight of the slush.

Darn fever

The plan was to go to MGM Grand tonight, meet up with my fellow bloggers who are in town, and play some crazy mixed games. At about 10 this morning, my throat started to hurt. It got worse as the day progressed and now, 12 hours later, I also have a fever and runny, sore eyes. I know what's next...

Blogger Freeroll

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

The WBCOOP is an online Poker tournament open to all Bloggers.

Registration code: 451568

Internet Dating - Wrong Answer

Food for thought

I often wonder why Paradise Poker, even in its heyday, never had a famous poker pro as a front man in its ads.

Honey, where's the remote?

$259 (ouch!)

Hey Google, time to revamp your flawed business models and forget about world domination. If you hurt me, I won't have the money to support your online advertisers, which in turn leads to this :




Your employees, whose stock options are now underwater, must be wondering who screwed up more, Cutts or Yang.

Ask Suze Orman

Q: How do I find a good small-cap fund manager?

A: Find a good large-cap fund manager, and wait.

UIGEA : Standing on the shoulder of midgets

Why regulate Wall Street when it is much easier reining in the online poker industry. The legislation is less complicated and the opposition to it is much less powerful. Why bother straining your brain cells trying to see the ramifications of an unregulated derivatives market run amok, when it is easier imagining some hapless 21-year-old running up a $5,000 credit card bill due to online gambling, possibly dragging himself down in the process. If some of his neighbors were to join in, it could even, God forbid, turn global.

Thank goodness for Leach (a former chairman of the House Banking Committee), Goodlatte, Frist and Kyl, the visionaries who selflessly continue to look out for our interests, using their impressive financial acumen to ward off one of the most complex economic perils ever to threaten the global monetary system since the Great Depression of 1929 by taking the appropriate legislative countermeasures. Is there any doubt that the 2009 Nobel Prize for Economics has their names written on it?

The 2008 WSOP Final Table, finally

Sunday night and I'm following Bluff's coverage and Pauly's. 4 left out of the original November Nine. For some reason this year is different - I am only mildly interested. Also preparing myself for a busy week, with visits scheduled to the Salvation Army, Nevada Social Services and my neighborhood bookie.