Online Capers IV

It seems as if a KK vs AA situation has to come up in nearly every session. Fuck the system architects at Full Tilt who designed the RNG, fuck Cigital, Inc and TST Labs, the 2 companies that evaluated, tested and accredited the randomness of the RNG, and fuck the respective horses they rode in on. If I've left anyone out, then fuck them too.

Online Capers III

In the grand scheme of things, this SB vs. BB hand is insignificant. However I called on the river because the BB's story didn't make sense. Remember, the story you are telling must at least represent something credible in the context of how the hand is played out.


Full Tilt, $0.50/$1 No Limit Hold'em Cash, 9 Players

Hero (SB): $19.25 (19.3 bb)
BB: $162.75 (162.8 bb)
UTG+1: $45.90 (45.9 bb)
UTG+2: $100 (100 bb)
MP1: $32 (32 bb)
MP2: $111.65 (111.7 bb)
MP3: $232.30 (232.3 bb)
CO: $20.70 (20.7 bb)
BTN: $277.40 (277.4 bb)

Preflop: Hero is SB with Ah 8s
7 folds, Hero completes, BB checks

Flop: ($2) 9h Js 8c (2 players)
Hero checks, BB checks

Turn: ($2) 5h (2 players)
Hero bets $1, BB calls $1

River: ($4) Jh (2 players)
Hero checks, BB bets $3.50, Hero calls $3.50

Results: $11 pot ($0.55 rake)
Final Board: 9h Js 8c 5h Jh
Hero showed Ah 8s and won $10.45 ($4.95 net)
BB showed 4c 7s and lost (-$5.50 net)

Online Capers II

This time we have toooh1, a Northern American idiot (Canada actually) with a VPIP of 44%, who calls my preflop raise with J8s, gets checkraised on the flop and calls with a straight draw, decides to continue chasing by calling a hefty $22.50 turn bet when the pot is $30.40, and then is rewarded for his stubborn persistence with a river card that completes his straight.

False positive?

Got this popup while surfing on 2+2. I did not press OK, in fact I was even scared to close it myself. Instead I opened up Windows Task Manager and ended the application from there. It listed itself as AVG - Windows Explorer, but in fact is malware trying to install itself when activated.

I found this on the interwebs (links intentionally deleted) :

The malware comes from this link : http:// XXXXXXXX.com/

XXXXXXXX redirects to YYYYYYYY.com in my case. The site displays a popup via JavaScript which says: "AV8 has found suspicious activity on your pc and will perform some action on your pc." It does fake virus scan, displays a fake Windows Security Alert, and then downloads a variant of Win32/Kryptik.IMZ trojan:

http:// YYYYYYYY.com/load/ZZZZZZZZZ.exe

Online Capers I

I bet the flop and was raised all-in. I would bury my head in shame had I won this pot in a live setting. But in the anonymity afforded by online play, ikkeno1, a Northern European idiot (Norway actually), gets another fillip to his bankroll before it, and him, dwindle into inevitable obscurity.

gg B&M?

For the first time in many years, I'm looking at getting into more serious online play. Clearly there are advantages to both forms, but $2-$5 at the Venetian is packed with regs and is getting harder to beat. Plus the commute will be shorter.

I know I will be facing more suckouts per hour playing online, but at least I won't be dealt cooler after cooler by that affected whore, Xiulian.

Gambling Tales Podcast returns

The Gambling Tales Podcast is back "on the air" with new shows weekly. Special K and Falstaff are the ones to blame. They will focus on a single topic each week, and will also reveal the password to their weekly Thursday Full Tilt freeroll tournament. I am now trying to get my hands on some headphones so that I can listen to one of these in the public library I frequent.

Table lag?

"Where was that flop last hand?"

I hear this at least once every time I play live. A player will bemoan the fact that the current flop is what he sorely needed in the previous hand in which he probably lost. The dealer or another player will then chime in with "Flop lag", everyone smiles and the game continues.

When multitabling online a similar situation can occur, only it is inter-table and concurrent.

Cowboys Full: The Story of Poker

I don't recall ever having read a history book. That is until I got my hands on Cowboys Full, a colorful and comprehensive description of how poker evolved into the popular game it is today. Author James McManus combines academic research with a gift for the narrative to produce a book which kept my interest from the first page to the very end.

Whether he's grinding online or playing live, a poker player at least owes it to himself to find out the origins of what he's spending hours, days and years on.

Read the book - you won't be disappointed.

Poker Hall of Shame VI

Today was the second time I played at the Aria. I was involved in a hand with a regular in which I lost a huge pot. The details are irrelevant but suffice it to say that it was a very ugly beat. Immediately afterwards, it was difficult discerning who had the larger smirk, the scumbag dealer Michael as he pushed the pot, or the smug regular. Way to go Aria! Way to go Altweis!

Evolutionary anthropology

This has yet to be confirmed by any official scientific body, but last night at South Point I sighted a previously unknown species that genetically links the Cro-Magnons with the Neanderthals - in the form of Claudio the dealer. International teams of forensic anthropologists and radiocarbon dating experts are being dispatched to Las Vegas as we speak.

Rebel Oil Racing Fuel

Even worse than the bad beats at the Venetian this morning was the near collision I experienced the previous night (Monday, November 22, 9:58pm), when a Rebel Oil double-tanker truck failed to yield at the I-215 and Windmill entrance, and sped through inches past me like in a scene from Duel. A friend jotted down his registration (Nevada 446741) while I regained my composure.

Spurious correlation?

I had no idea that early Tuesday morning at the Venetian was F.U.D.C* Day. First that bitch Lisa deals me KhQh, puts out an all-heart flop, but not before making sure that my opponent has Ah6h. Then that prick Fernando sees to it that I'm beaten on the river by an obvious bluffer who makes his gutshot straight.

You've been warned - if they're fat and ugly and it's Tuesday morning, get up and take a walk for 30 minutes.


* Fat Ugly Dealer Cooler

We have a winner

Canadian Jonathan Duhamel, the incoming chip leader, won the 2010 WSOP Main Event bracelet. Equally impressive was John Racener (pictured below) who folded his way into second place.


                             (Courtesy of nonecks from 2+2)

WSOP 2010 November Nine

I'm watching the live stream on ESPN3 and John Racener is still chewing like a fucking camel. Candio just moved all-in and Duhamel called in a 30 million pot. At this stage, the only thing moving in the Penn & Teller Theatre is Racener's jaws.

Calm before the storm

It was a variance free, boring session till dealer Tom stepped in. I had about $600 in front of me, having bought in for $500. Then came the 2 hands that unhinged me.

Hand 1
I limp in with AdJd in early position. Many callers.

Flop comes 8d 5d Tc
I bet $25, only old fart calls.

Turn is As
I bet $50, old fart calls.

River is Jc
I check and old fart bets $110. I call with my 2-pair and old fart takes the pot with KdQd, hitting a 3-outer to make his broadway.

Hand 2
Creepy lady raises to $40 from middle position and I am the only caller from the big blind with 88.

Flop comes Jd 8d 4d
Of course we get it all-in and creepy lady has JJ.

Somewhat tilted, I rebuy for another $500. And after an orbit, Tom deals the third pivotal hand of his down.

Hand 3
Very nice Italian guy who has me covered raises to $35 from late position. Once again I am the only caller with Ts9s in the big blind. Dubious call? Yes.

Flop comes 8s 5d 2c
I check and Italian guy bets $60. I have missed the flop entirely but somehow feel that the runner-runner possibilities warrant a tilt-induced call. I call.

Turn is 7s
I now have an open-ended straight flush draw and push with my remaining $380. Italian guy thinks for a bit, reads me correctly and calls.

River is Ks
My flush beats his QQ and I double up. Dealer Tom soon finishes his down, and thankfully my play and mental state are now back to where they were when he stepped in.

Wrigley to sponsor John Racener

Hopefully John Racener can brush up his act for the upcoming November Nine telecast. I found his open-mouthed chewing disgusting to watch.

Infusion and confusion

As thunderstorms hit Las Vegas, I am fortunate to finally have a non-cardboard roof over my head. It's a long story best left for another time, but surprisingly enough does not involve tournament chips.

I have been playing some $2-$5 at the Venetian thanks to $360 I recently earned as a participant in an FDA approved clinical study for a malady too embarrassing to mention. The denizens at the V are an eclectic bunch comprised of local grinders, visiting grinders, drunken tourists, off-duty dealers, conventioneers, busted-out tournament players, degenerates, to name but a few. After playing with a group for a few hours, different bonds are formed; cliques, friendships, rivalries - both feigned and real.

Last night I had about $650 in front of me, with the 2 big stacks ($2,000 +) to my immediate right (RBS) and two to my left (LBS). LBS was a very loose and aggressive European who would both raise and call pre-flop with what seemed like ATC, and continued the bulldozing post-flop. I limped with Qs9c and was one of 2 callers of LBS's $30 button raise.

The flop came Qc 9d 8c giving me top 2-pair.

EP checked, I bet $40, LBS and EP both called.

The turn was Ah.

When EP checked to me, I put LBS on air and decided to commit myself to the hand. I bet $200. LBS called with his normal tempo while EP folded. At this stage I could not put LBS on any hand, thought that I was probably ahead, so I decided to go all-in with my remaining $300 before the dealer put out the river.

The river was 9s giving me a full house.

LBS pondered for a while and called. I tabled my boat and he folded face down. In the ensuing discussion I had with RBS, the latter thought that I may well have been behind on the turn with LBS perhaps holding 88. I agreed, though there is also the possibility of 98 and KK where I didn't need to get lucky. Another question is whether my push "in the dark" had any influence on his call. Perhaps he put me on a busted flush draw?

I hope I see LBS again because the curiosity is starting to kill this cat.

End of summer

It got down to 58 degrees here in Vegas overnight and very soon sleeping under the stars will no longer be an option. My plan is to pass off some worthless tournament chips to an unwitting landlord. Failing that, it's back to the shelter.

People are strange

Why is it that whenever someone expresses interest in moving to another table because "there is no action on this table", that player is invariably the tightest nit on the table? Paradoxically, their departure can only lead to an increase in action.