The 2008 WSOP Final Table, finally

Sunday night and I'm following Bluff's coverage and Pauly's. 4 left out of the original November Nine. For some reason this year is different - I am only mildly interested. Also preparing myself for a busy week, with visits scheduled to the Salvation Army, Nevada Social Services and my neighborhood bookie.

Quiz

Which one is rigged?

(i) My elimination from the Sunday Full Tilt $750K



or

(ii) The recent Bute vs. Andrade fight

Deja vu

Sunday night and another sea of red as Asian markets plunge, setting the tone for Europe to continue the freefall, leaving the American markets little choice. My disposable income was non-existent even before this crisis, but I imagine that many people will be starting to feel the effects of this global squeeze, meaning less visits to Vegas, Atlantic City and Monte Carlo.

So what does a poker player do? Organize home games of course! It is an economically attractive alternative to casino patronage, and all the requisites for setting yourself up can be found on one website, Nevada Jacks. Poker cards, table covers, poker tables, quality poker chips can all be ordered here at very cheap prices. And the chips are true clay poker chips, with the same quality and materials as used by many Las Vegas casinos. So what are you waiting for? Take advantage of the great customer service and top-class products found at Nevada Jacks and set yourself up for the ultimate home game experience. Your friends will thank you for it.

Man of the Year 2008 - Senator Bill Frist

A little early, I know, but I can't see anyone surpassing the uncanny foresight of Bill Frist, who anticipated the immense global financial threat posed by the unregulated credit default swap market online poker industry, and helped prevent an international meltdown with the introduction of critical pre-emptive legislation.

We owe our collective jobs, homes, retirement benefits and general sense of economic well-being to this great fucktard visionary.

LeTune follows LeCheese

15 minutes to the start of LeTune Challenge I, a freeroll for bloggers courtesy of Joe from RakeBrain. I was fortunate enough to be invited again, thank you Joe and RakeBrain.

(40 minutes later .... )

I was eliminated in 24th place. I have no business playing PLO. What was really frustrating was that Full Tilt does not allow chat if you have no real money balance, which I don't. So if I didn't say hi to you, or didn't respond to your greetings, this is why :

Bob Lassiter (tampa)

If anyone is to blame for this blog, it is Bob Lassiter. It was he who encouraged me to start this little venture. Exactly two years have flown by since his passing and I still miss the bastard.

The new glossary of Wall Street terminology

After a series of calamitous days on Wall Street, I sit here watching the Nikkei and other Asian markets continuing the freefall in order for Wall Street to get an inkling in which direction to trade tomorrow morning. In the meantime, I am brushing up on the latest vernacular:


BULL MARKET - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.


BEAR MARKET - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.


VALUE INVESTING - The art of buying low and selling lower.


P/E RATIO - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.


BROKER - What my broker has made me.


STANDARD & POOR - Your life in a nutshell.


STOCK ANALYST - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.


STOCK SPLIT - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.


FINANCIAL PLANNER - A guy whose phone has been disconnected.


MARKET CORRECTION - The day after you buy stocks.


CASH FLOW - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.


YAHOO - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.


WINDOWS - What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @$240 per share.


INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.


PROFIT - An archaic word no longer in use.

The blame game

In written testimony to a congressional panel submitted today, a former chief executive of AIG blamed its woes on shorts. Yeah, like it's the dealer's fault that I got rivered. That dick Fuld from Lehman also appeared arrogant and unrepentant at yesterday's hearing.

These guys should be taken 30,000 feet up in a plane, and then offered the choice between their golden parachute and a real one.

"Poker Fiction"

Poker Grump, a Las Vegas-based prolific and high-quality blogger, has been obsessively picking apart erroneous ESPN "Poker Fact" segments. So it was somewhat surprising that we were not privy to one of his posts after yesterday's "Poker Fact" declaring that "72 offsuit was the worst starting hand in hold'em".

Absent any other assumptions (and there weren't any), 32 offsuit is the worst hand. I'm thinking hot and cold Sklansky-Chubukov, and not a limit hold'em simulation with betting on all streets.

Google tumbling

Google slashed my page ranking to 0 this weekend. This is the greedy and monopolistic behavior that has typified Google's urge to dominate the market by all means possible. What they fail to realize is that the markets are intertwined and that if you screw the little guy, you inevitably end up screwing yourself as well. Unfortunately, proof of this came no sooner than today when the stock market further slashed Google (and the rest of the intertwined, overvalued crap) to under $400. With the economy shrinking, does this overpriced has-been think that their brutally enforced ad revenues will keep on increasing? Or that people will buy their shitty phones?

I have reached 0, but they still have a ways to come down. Just a few weeks ago, I recommended selling GOOG at $500. If you happen to own this overinflated stock in your retirement fund, I suggest you offload now while you can still get $400 and buy back again under $300. And then hope that they learn from their mistakes.

If they could take it back

Hopefully the financial turmoil will have disappeared from the headlines by November 9, when the November Nine are scheduled to play out the Final Table of the 2008 World Series of Poker. In retrospect, picking a date 5 days after a presidential election was a gamble. Throw in the possibility of future financial and political upheaval, and you have a recipe for potentially very low ratings for ESPN.

Mission aborted

Yesterday I turned up at the airport only to find that there were no tickets for our party of 12. Apparently the secretary of the Las Vegas chapter of Gamblers Without Borders, who had been assigned the task of arranging travel and accommodation, decided instead he would risk our $30,000 in online heads-up play against durrrr. The gamble didn't pay off, but kudos to him for trying.

Volunteerism

I will be flying to Africa tomorrow for 2 weeks as head of a Gamblers Without Borders mission. We will be based primarily in northern Uganda and southern Sudan, where we will be giving free courses in Texas Hold'em, Razz and money management.

Sunday nights on Wall Street

Regulators spent the weekend at the headquarters of the New York Federal Reserve in downtown Manhattan, huddled together with the top echelons of the banking and financial community, frantically trying to come up with solutions to the Lehman, Merrill, AIG, WAMU, .... messes.

I spent the weekend huddled together with some gamblers and drifters. Apart from the 3,000 miles that separated us, I felt we had a lot in common.

Moving in

Moved into my new quarters yesterday, just below the I15 overpass near Decatur. I am told there is a great WiFi spot 50 feet from here. But first things first - I'm more concerned with tonight's dinner at the moment. And why I stubbornly continue to play above my limits.

Moving on

The shelter officially closes tomorrow. I have several living options available, including Howard Lederer's backyard toolshed. The current evacuation of New Orleans as Gustav approaches helps me keep things in perspective.

Michael Phelps - The Beginning

Out of action

Even before Las Vegas poker rooms were going through the typical August doldrums, I was given the green light to multitable $2-$5 NLHE at a major Strip casino. On Wednesday night, while brooding over a bad beat I had taken on Table 7 and my poorly executed $100 bluff called by a jack-high on Table 12, I inadvertently bumped into a cocktail waitress while rushing to Table 15 to post a straddle, causing me to fall into the path of a motorized wheelchair. I escaped with a fractured distal tibia (lower leg) and will be in plaster for 6 weeks.

Abandoned pets

With the increase in foreclosures, people are abandoning their pets as well as their homes. There is absolutely no excuse for this type of behavior and to those guilty of leaving their animals behind, may this be just the beginning of your economic hardships which hopefully will continue on so that you get to see your children go to bed hungry every night.

Tao of Poker

I would be remiss if I didn't throw in a reminder about tomorrow's birthday bash, courtesy of Dr. Pauly and in celebration of his blog's 5th anniversary.

Unfortunately I have no funds online at the moment, but would very much like to play. If someone could transfer me the $5.50, I would be appreciative. Repayment options range from immediate cash if you're in Vegas, to immediate PayPal, to Full Tilt transfer on the 15th, to food stamps.

Please leave a comment or email me (shluha at hotmail dot com).