Busto

Haven't played much poker lately thanks to a horrific stretch of runbad and coolers, which not only completely drained my bankroll, but now manifests itself in psychosomatic symptoms such as constant fatigue and occasional bouts of priapism.

QQ and the flop

It seems like every time I have QQ, an ace or king appears on the flop. This is substantiated by the math which puts the percentage at 41.43%. There is therefore the tendency to either check on the flop, or even fold when faced with a bet when an ace or king flops.

However, invoking Bayes' Theorem, the probability that our opponent is holding at least one ace, given that there is at least an ace on the flop, is 12.1%. This is the figure to keep in mind before thinking about ditching the ladies.

Slowrolling a slowroller

There's a 2/5 regular at the Aria who is notorious for his slowrolling. That and his constant walking from the table. He'll play for 10 minutes and then disappear for half an hour, especially when he's up.

So last week, holding QQ in a heads-up pot against this guy with betting pre-flop, post-flop and on the turn, I finally went all-in for my last $230 on the river. The board was ten high and jerkoff says "call", so I turn over my queens. Rather than show his cards, he slowly and methodically counts out the $230, $25 stacks at a time, a process that lasts about 10 seconds, and pushes it forward. Then, apparently as an afterthought, he turns over AA.

Fast forward to last night. Asshat raises to $25, there are 3 callers so I call rather loosely with 9s6s on the button. I put dickwad on AK or QQ+.

Flop : Ts Qs 4h

Shithead bets $75, and there are 2 callers including myself.

Turn : 8c

I now have a well-disguised gutshot to go with my flush draw. Fuckface bets $100, and only I call.

River : 7h

Bingo! Douchebag glances over at my remaining $132, counts out $125 and pushes it across the line. There's no way he has J9, so I effectively have the nuts. I start the Hollywooding which is basically tanking accompanied by occasional head shaking and audible muttering.

I slowly count out $125, stare pitifully at the remaining $7 and shake my head again. At least 2 minutes have gone by, but I am not worried about any possible later reaction from the rest of the table as I don't have the nuts.

Another minute passes, and rather than just calling and having him show first and then slowroll him again, I decide that he has had enough, and opt for the extra $7 by going all-in. He calls, I show, and he flings his cards angrily into the muck. If looks could kill.

Quick as lightning

I've found a very lucrative busking site, well away from the usual spots like the pedestrian overpasses. With accordion in hand, I will wade into the knee-depth water of the Venetian canal and, with my perfect musical ear, quickly start accompanying the singing gondolier. I then follow the gondola till either I get tipped or fended off by a threatening paddle.

This has enabled me to significantly increase my daily income, and on Wednesday I was even able to afford the $100 minimum buy-in at Aria's 1/3 to join visiting blogger, lightning36, in a session of cards. Needless to say, I went broke after a few hands, but at least lightning36 had a profitable night.

Vignette IX

I hope you'll prove me wrong.

Playing the rail - the mental game

When I get stacked in a cash game, rather than head home, I find it very cathartic to stand on the rail and curse quietly at the player that busted me. This ritual usually lasts about 5 minutes, though it can stretch out to 20 minutes or more, particularly after a nasty suckout.

Playing a very, very short stack in a cash game

Quite often, in fact almost always, I lack the financial resources to top up my stack during a cash game. After months of extensive research, I have developed a strategy of playing a very, very short stack (3 to 5 big blinds), and will be presenting it in an upcoming free webinar. Further details to come.

Still looking

No luck so far on the job front, and it's certainly not from a lack of trying. This afternoon I'll be hanging out (figuratively) at the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo at the Hard Rock, trying to see if I can land a gig as an extra - you know, like in a crowd scene or something.

Top 10 Bestselling Poker Books of 2015

Following up on last year's infographic of the best selling poker books from 2014 (according to Amazon), here is the 2015 version.

This time we see Jonathan Little dominating with 3 books in the top 10. Sklansky is still there, although he's slipped from first place. For a list of more poker books plus some other great content, do yourself a favor and head over to YourHandSucks.

Vignette VIII

What could possibly go wrong?

Martingale before midnight? Whatever happens, Merry Xmas, Tony!

Vignette VII

Six Plus Hold'em at Aria

Six Plus Hold'em, a new variant of Hold'em played with a deck of 36 cards, is apparently very popular in the high stakes games played in Macau. All the cards from deuce to five are taken out from the deck, leaving 36 cards instead of 52. This of course creates some differences in hand strength, like a 3-of-a-kind now beats a straight, and a flush beats a full house.

Clearly there will be differences in strategy between this game and the traditional Hold'em, and some time should be invested in study before sitting down and playing with real money. However, for those that lack the patience to do so, the Aria poker room will be spreading Six Plus Hold'em tonight with $2/$5 blinds and a $1,000 maximum buy-in.

Vignette VI

Snubbed again

This is the 5th year running that I have been overlooked for the Nobel Prize in Economics. I have said nothing till now, but there is a limit to how much humiliation one can take. I have nothing against this year's winner, Angus Deaton, who I'm sure was worthy of the esteemed award. However, my pioneering research into the relationship between median household income and 4th street bluff reraising ranges has been widely acclaimed in academic circles as groundbreaking. When will those Northern European idiots finally come to their senses?

Nearly found a job

As I was perusing the daily job listings, my eyes fell upon an opening for a Penetration Tester. Eureka! This sounded like something right up my alley. So you can imagine my disappointment when I clicked on the link to find the following job description :

A penetration tester is a type of network security consultant that tries to break into or find possible exploits in different computer systems and software. You can think of them as a type of ethical hacker. They generally are expected to run a number of tests, generally based around network penetration, and fill out assessment reports about what they have discovered. While they will often be running pre-determined types of tests, they will also be designing their own tests a large portion of the time, which requires creativity and imagination, along with a superb level of technical knowledge and know-how.

Goodbye Macau

Any thoughts I had entertained of playing in high-limit Macau cash games were quickly laid to rest today with the continuing plunge of the Chinese stock market.

Several months ago I invested my bankroll in some speculative Shanghai high-fliers, but committed the cardinal sin of being over-leveraged. So not only am I busto (once again), but am facing margin calls to the tune of several 2/5 buy-ins.

I have spent the last 6 hours lying prostrate in front of the Buddha statue at the Aria, praying fervently for the speedy recovery of the Shanghai Composite Index.

Vignette V

2nd chance for tournament poker?

I have religiously avoided poker tournaments in favor of cash games for over 10 years now, thanks to a traumatic experience which I refer to here.

Truth be told, there has been no shortage of sporadic pain at the cash tables as well, so maybe it is time to re-evaluate my tourney embargo.

The only tournament books I have in my library are the outdated "Harrington on Hold'em (Expert Strategy for No-Limit Tournaments, Volumes I and II)", and Sklansky's "Tournament Poker for Advanced Players". I am therefore looking to add some more recent literature, and to this end am considering "Kill Everyone". "Winning Poker Tournaments One Hand at a Time" (3 volumes) has good reviews, but I am more interested in live tourneys rather than online.

Is "Kill Everyone" worth the read, and does anyone have other recommendations?

Risitas reacts to the 2015 WSOP November 9

2+2 poster JoeDiego has made a great video about this year's November 9 :

Thick as a Brick?

Bellagio 2/5. I get it all-in heads-up pre-flop with KK, run into AA, and lose my stack. I'm quite used to this type of cooler, but still find the need to profer my usual polite, but sarcastic, "Thank you, dealer" to Kim from Hawaii.

Without missing a beat, she replies "You're welcome." Now either she's one dumb lady, or a very rude one.