Age of Consent

Come celebrate katitude's birthday in a donkament.

Tournament #15387473, Katitude's Poker Night
Password: martini
Date: Friday, March 30
Where: Full Tilt Poker
Time: 9:00 EST
Buyin: $10+ $1
Game: NLHE

A new milestone

Not since July 1968, when Iron Butterfly released the monumental LP, In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, featuring the 17 minute side-long track, has the entire music industry been so shaken up. I am referring to none other than this year's American Idol star, Sanjaya Malakar, whose powerhouse voice and raw talent catapults him into another league. Kudos to change100 who was quick to unearth his potential and from the outset predicted great things for him.

Feeling creative?

Then go to Mr. Picassohead and emulate the great master. Here's my pathetic attempt:

Cash is king but clothing is fine

I have yet to make the final table of any large online MTT. That is until yesterday.


I get a personalized Full Tilt Poker jersey for my efforts.

DQB permutated

Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.."

Thank Waffles for killing workplace productivity.

@#!% Chat

There's nothing like a well-timed "lol" in the chat box, from a donkey who has just sucked out on you, to put even the most cool and composed player on tilt. I therefore have a policy of turning off all player and observer chat during any game I am involved in. Obviously I make an exception for the blogger tournaments where the chat is 80% of the fun.

On a related note, cracknaces has had his FTP chat privileges revoked for 3 months. I laughed to tears when I read about it, and to him I can unequivocally say, "You're @#!%ing better off without it."

Locate the Lemur II

Go ahead and make the effort to look for these assclowns. Your bankroll will thank you for it.

marco58
TY WEBB 5150
Ranbar007
Steelknght
moon5302

Locate the Lemur

It's comforting to know that there are complete morons playing online. Whenever I witness a donkey play, whether I'm in the hand or not, I make a note of the player's name, both online (player notes) and on paper. At the beginning of each session, I use the Find a Player feature to see if I can locate any of these jackasses, the aim being to get on a table with one (or more) of them. This is table selection exemplified and is very positive EV.

Following is the short list of retards that were added to my compendium this afternoon:

Smitty300
wisker
D-ROBB
LuNAtiC9567
_BuyIt_

The Longest Bubble

I am playing in Full Tilt's $69+$6 $22K NLHE tournament. There are 446 entrants of whom 55 now remain.

It is 21:34 ET, the blinds are 400/800 with a 100 ante. I have T32,000 and am in 20th place. Top 45 get paid.

I am determined to make the money and fold virtually every hand. I even fold 99 UTG, not wanting a possible tangle with the aggressive and larger stacked big blind. I watch how I slowly drop to 21st, 23rd, 24th, 26th, 28th place.

Exactly 42 hands elapse.

It is 22:05 ET, the blinds are 800/1600 with a 200 ante. I have T15,800 and am in 33rd place, with 46 players remaining. All tables are now playing hand for hand. It is folded around to me in the small blind where I pick up AKo. The big blind has T50,000. I fold.

The bubble bursts and shortly thereafter I go out in 34th place, which pays $123.09. First pays $7,693.50.

What is the moral of this story?

I love math

Taken from actual exams :

Who is this guy?

And what did he do to warrant a personalized avatar? Ran into the bugger in a $10+$1 NLHE MTT.

nh?!

Tried getting into the first FTOPS event by playing in a $50+$5 satellite. I was doing OK with T2000 and blinds at 60/120, when I picked up AA in the small blind. There were 3 limpers so I went all-in. Big blind, who has me covered, calls and everyone else folds. He has KK and of course the board comes 228KK (may the designers of the RNG get avian flu).



Now as if this wasn't enough, stoffer1, whose avatar should be a steaming turd and who wasn't even involved in the hand, types "nh" into the chat box. What is nice about this hand? It is a suckout and his comment shows the immaturity that can only be expected of the typical retarded cretin one finds in these online events. I didn't bother venting my feelings in the chat box. stoffer1 finished in 137th place, with only 92 qualifying for a seat. That was enough for me. And if perchance stoffer1 should take down a major tourney sometime in the future, I leave this post, together with the following meta tags, as posterity for those doing any online searching.

stoffer1 stoffer asswipe poker

I feel better already.

Check or bet?

Dems Quads Beetches!!!

This donktard lost his stack when he kept betting into me with nothing. He went all-in on the river.

Tell us what you really think

Creeping up

I finished 4th in tonight's Mookie and it's only a matter of time before I take down this prestigious title. As usual, a good time was had by all.

What's in a Name?

I like this player's screen name. More good ones here.

Another cash in the Riverchasers

After bombing out in this week's Mookie, I managed to finish 5th in last night's Riverchasers Event #2, hosted by the Reverend Al. I started off inauspiciously and was down to T690 (and last position) very early on. I fought back, building my stack up to a respectable level. The pivotal hand for me was the following:

Full Tilt Poker Game #1673618973: Riverchasers Tour Event #2 (11176593), Table 8 - 60/120 - No Limit Hold'em - 22:13:28 ET - 2007/01/25 (partial)
Seat 1: dnasty13 (1,515)
Seat 2: patryn21 (4,150)
Seat 3: ScottMc (1,490)
Seat 4: -o-LuckTruck-o- (3,215)
Seat 5: noollab (580)
Seat 6: pebble78 (3,216)
Seat 7: MrSubliminal (3,330)
Seat 8: MoonShadow58 (950)
Seat 9: cycleseller (2,571)
pebble78 posts the small blind of 60
MrSubliminal posts the big blind of 120
The button is in seat #5
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to MrSubliminal [As Kh]
MoonShadow58 folds
cycleseller folds
dnasty13 folds
patryn21 raises to 350
ScottMc folds
-o-LuckTruck-o- folds
noollab folds
pebble78 folds
MrSubliminal calls 230
*** FLOP *** [Ad 7c 7h]
MrSubliminal checks
patryn21 bets 300
MrSubliminal raises to 1,200
patryn21 has 15 seconds left to act
patryn21 raises to 3,800, and is all in
MrSubliminal calls 1,780, and is all in
patryn21 shows [7s 9s]
MrSubliminal shows [As Kh]
Uncalled bet of 820 returned to patryn21
*** TURN *** [Ad 7c 7h] [Qh]
*** RIVER *** [Ad 7c 7h Qh] [Ac]
patryn21 shows a full house, Sevens full of Aces
MrSubliminal shows a full house, Aces full of Sevens
MrSubliminal wins the pot (6,720) with a full house, Aces full of Sevens




After the flop, I was a 91% dog and was very lucky not to have been eliminated there and then. Of course I could not put him on a 7 and would play the hand the same way tomorrow. That's poker.

Wish me luck

I start work on Monday as a human directional.

Poker Source Online

If you play a decent amount of poker (and since you are reading a poker blog, you probably do), you know that you pay the poker room to play in the form of rake. There is nothing wrong with that; the poker rooms have to make money to stay in operation. But if you could play at a discount, you certainly would, wouldn’t you?

That is where Poker Source Online comes in. Poker Source Online, also known in the online poker community as “PSO,” has partnered with four of the top online poker rooms to offer rakeback to new customers. Anyone who has never had an account at Sun Poker, Full Tilt Poker, Ultimate Bet, or Absolute Poker can have anywhere from 27% to 32% of their rake returned to them, depending on the poker room.

Sure, some rakeback providers work with more rooms than PSO does, but PSO limits the rooms it deals with in order to ensure the highest quality customer service, both from the room and from PSO. If you ever have a question about your rakeback, PSO will be there to help you. Some of the poker room representatives even stop by PSO’s message forum to assist from time to time.

Three of the rooms deposit the rakeback directly into your poker account as cash. There is no need to request a payout from PSO to get your money. One room, Ultimate Bet, pays out in PSO “Points,” which can be accumulated and spent in PSO’s online store. There, you can purchase all sorts of poker goodies, books, DVD’s, electronics, and gift cards (some gift cards are even for poker rooms, so they are as good as cash).

So, if you want to essentially get paid to play poker, it only makes sense to sign up for rakeback at Poker Source Online. You are going to play poker anyway, so reward yourself for it! Visit http://www.pokersourceonline.com for more details.