Monday, October 28, 2013

Vicious animal attack

I apologize for the posting hiatus and am pleased to report that after a 2 week stay at Sunrise Hospital, I was finally released today. A fortnight ago, a confluence of highly unlikely events led to my being set upon by 2 llamas and a miniature horse. Commenting on the incident, officials at the Las Vegas Petting Zoo said it was "extremely unusual and the first of its kind since the zoo's opening 27 years ago".

To its credit, the zoo spared no expense and flew in a highly specialized medical team including 3 groin reconstruction surgeons, ensuring that both my reproductive capacity and voice intonation will thankfully remain intact.

I can now concentrate on rebuilding my career and poker grubstake.


10 comments:

angerisagift said...

no means no,sir.next time,try a donkey . i hear in mexico very popular

grrouchie serge said...

did the Llama's spit on it before ripping it apart?

angerisagift said...

i think the problem is he should of spit on it. LMAO

Mr Subliminal said...

Despite my love for animals, this was a vicious and unprovoked attack. I don't see why you are treating it as a laughing matter.

angerisagift said...

who is laughing? i am serious next time a donkey or at least use lube

Mr Subliminal said...

Nowhere in my post is there even a hint of any impropriety on my part. You are incorrectly reading between the lines.

lightning36 said...

But did they kiss you on the lips?

It does seem like it is your own fault for going to a petting zoo. When I was young, my mama always told me that heavy petting might get someone in trouble.

Mr Subliminal said...

@angerisagift : I was attacked all over. If you read carefully, I say that a "highly specialized medical team including 3 groin reconstruction surgeons" was flown in. There were other "non-groin" specialists as well.

Feel free to contact the zoo and they will clarify their statement.

Memphis MOJO said...

Sorry to hear about your mishap, but glad to hear you're on the rebound.

Groin? Some details might be better left unsaid.

Pete P. Peters said...

This sounds like an Obamacare success story.