Reprieve?

I was 10 seconds away from kicking the stool out from beneath my feet, when Joe came running in.

"Looks like a French group will be buying Full Tilt!" he shouted.

"You sure?" I asked. It had taken me a good 25 minutes to set up a makeshift gallows and I wanted confirmation before removing the noose.

"It's all over 2p2!"

Prudence and past disappointments dissuaded me from jumping for joy.

My first bad beat jackpot?

A huge, dead satellite tumbling to Earth is falling slower than expected, and may now plummet down somewhere over the United States tonight or early Saturday.

NASA expects about 26 large pieces of the UARS spacecraft to survive re-entry through Earth's atmosphere and reach the planet's surface. The biggest piece should weigh about 300 pounds.

NASA officials have said the chances that a piece of UARS debris hits and injures one of the nearly 7 billion people on the planet are about 1 in 3,200. I haven't won a lottery in my life but I've got an eerily good feeling about this one.

Latest Full Tilt Poker Press Release

"On April 15th 2011 the United States Department of Justice unsealed a federal indictment against a number of individuals employed by major online poker operators. After the issuance of that indictment and a related civil case brought by the United States government, Full Tilt Poker withdrew from the US market. Then in a related action, on June 29th, 2011, Full Tilt Poker had its operating licenses suspended by the Alderney Gambling Control Commission.

As a result, Pocket Kings Ltd. (provider of marketing and technology services to Full Tilt Poker) has adopted a cost optimization program and estimates that they need to reduce their costs by approximately €12m. This program is intended to streamline the company’s operations in order to better position itself for future growth and profitability in Full Tilt Poker’s markets outside of the U.S.

If all of the required cost savings were to be achieved through redundancies, approximately 250 positions could be affected; however the exact number cannot be confirmed until the conclusion of a consultation process with its workforce.

Notwithstanding the foregoing, Pocket Kings firmly believes it has a very strong future in Full Tilt Poker’s Non-US Markets, and is fully committed to ensuring Full Tilt Poker restores the site and repay players in full. To this end, Full Tilt Poker has retained Sea Port Group Securities, LLC as its financial advisor with regard to raising capital and/or assisting in securing a strategic partner in order to fund continued operations of Full Tilt Poker's non-U.S. business. The Company is in active discussions with several parties and will provide a further statement in due course."

The AGCC hearing will be held in camera on September 19. Here's hoping.

Life unplugged

I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel. Most of my life roll ($17.32) is stuck on Full Tilt, and the resultant mental anguish is causing a severe case of writer's block which in turn is holding up the release of my new poker book. Lack of funds will probably mean I'll have to drop out of colon hydrotherapy school. If it's not one shitstorm, it's another.